We all know what the freshman fifteen is. Maybe we're still carrying a pound or two of it today. But did you think finishing your first year means its all easy streets now? Piece of cake? Smooth sailing? Ohohoho, you naive one... let me show you a definition your nasally professordidn't explain.
The Sophomore Slump: A period of time within the confines of a student’s second year of college (I/E: Sophomore year) where said student feels slouchy, sad, stressed, and very, very tired.
Here’s how you know that you’re going through a bit of that sophomoric sluggish suckyslump:
1. People repeatedly inquire “Are you OK?”
2. You start missing home more, making multiple calls to your mom a day asking for play by play of her day.
3. The only full meals you have are when you raid the fridge at 2:00 am after a night out at the bars.
4. You start to question the meaning of life as you sit in the library at some ungodly hour.
5. Moving to Transylvania starts sounding like a realistic possibility simply because of an internship.
6. There are periods you go out every day of the week and the next you don’t see sunlight.
7. Relationships start to seem harder than a million piece puzzle.
8. You pay for drinks in quarters
9. People mistake you for a freshman and you’re usually too tired to correct anyone.
10. Even the squirrels seem to be plotting against you to ruin your life.
11. You’ll start screaming at the pizza man simply because he got your order wrong.
12. You don’t really know what you’re supposed to be doing, but you’re really good at not doing it.
13. You’re no longer riding the struggle bus, because it has crashed and broken down.
14. Chipotle can sometimes (always) be the best part of your day.
15. “I’ll just have like five drinks and then come back to do homework.”
16. You need coffee before you can do literally anything.
17. Sometimes you’d rather talk to the stray cat outside than people.
18. You’ve been to the bars in Adidas sandals.
Listen. So you’re going through a slump. Don’t worry about it. Embrace it, this is just your sophomore year. It won’t last forever, so take advantage of it while you can. When things get hard, just remember you always have your friends, family, and… uh… Chipotle.
Have a fantastic sophomore slump and remember, we're all in this together!
