It's Not You, It's Him | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

It's Not You, It's Him

You aren't insane, and no one should make you feel that way.

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It's Not You, It's Him
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Everyone knows that the people you surround yourself with can either bring out your good qualities, or your bad. Your mom probably taught you this lesson when you started making friends in order to choose them wisely, and that lesson still stands today. It sucks when you don’t feel like yourself around the people you call your friends, and it is absolutely miserable when that feeling comes from a SO.

It’s the feeling of total frustration when you’re in an argument that leads you to tears because although you are making perfect sense, they just don’t get it. In the back of your mind you’re thinking, “why am I crying right now?!” because you know you do not want to, and that there’s really no reason to, but he has hit some nerve that makes you this being driven by emotion. And it is even more frustrating because you know that’s not you...

It’s the feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed out because you’re trying to plan ahead to find time for this person but he doesn’t seem to be much help. So here you are, picking up his slack because you know if you don’t do it all, nothing will happen. But then you’ve turned into some controlling, uptight monster and you know that’s not you…

It’s the feeling of insecurity that comes from overthinking too much because unlike you, he’s not open about what he’s feeling which causes you to second guess everything. I mean, you know he says he wants to be with you, but the two texts you’ve gotten in 5 hours are screaming something different. So the worry comes, and then the quadruple texting to the point where you feel crazy, but you know you’re not…

Being in a relationship means that there’s a chance that their likes and dislikes will become your own. However it is important to stay true to yourself at the same time. There’s nothing wrong when someone changes your opinion about a certain style of music or a food group, but when that opinion starts to change about yourself, it is a problem. I never fully understood the saying “be with someone who makes you better” until recently.I assumed it was common sense. Like duh, why would you want to be with someone who makes your sparkle less lively? But let me tell you, love goggles are a real thing. You do not realize it at first, but the more you make excuses and take the blame for the way he is acting, the more you will feel like a stranger in your own skin.

You aren’t crazy for wanting a guy to make the effort to talk to you; you aren’t unreasonable when you get frustrated because a guy refuses to try to see your side. You are not the problem, he is. Now this isn’t a cliché “girl power, write off all men” kind of article because I am not saying there is anything necessarily wrong with him, however he is all kinds of wrong for you.

There will be a guy that won’t make you cry in every argument because he won’t try to frustrate you, he’ll try to work it out. There will be a guy that worries when he is going to see you next, the second after he leaves you. And there will be a guy that doesn’t even have to tell you he loves you because he’ll make you feel it. Don’t waste time on guys that make you rethink your sanity. You know who you are and how bright you can shine and no one, not even someone you fancy, should dull any part of it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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