Anyone who has ever attended a Christian university can agree that there is a stigma around dating- and it's getting out of control! If we see a guy and a girl walking around campus together, we immediately wonder if they're dating. If they go on a date, we assume they are in a relationship. If they are in a relationship, then you can guarantee there are at least 20 people betting on when the wedding will be. It needs to stop.
I get it. The “ring by spring” jokes are funny. And when the two people that shamelessly flirt in the back of your class every day finally admit that they like each other, it’s easy to assume they’ll end up in a relationship.
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But I think it’s time we take a step back and address the unrealistic pressure we are putting on something as simple as dating.
If you really think about it, dating isn’t a complicated thing. Boy likes girl; boy asks girl to coffee; girl says yes; they go out. Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting. The problem is we’ve forgotten the fun and added stressful expectations.
We’ve decided that friendships have to lead to dates that have to lead to relationships that have to lead to marriage, but guess what? That’s not how it works.
Yeah, sometimes the date goes really well and it leads to another one and another one and maybe that date leads to a relationship. Sometimes, though, two people go on a date and that’s where the story ends. That’s OK too.
We all want to find the person that will to take us on that magical first date, but this unrealistic need to fall in love with the next person we talk to is exactly what is keeping that from happening.
Guys have stopped asking girls out because the last thing they want is for their entire wedding to be planned before they pick the girl up for the first date. And if, by chance, a girl does get asked out by a guy who has finally worked up the courage to talk to her, she says no because she can’t see a “real future” with him.
You don’t have to know you are going to get married to someone in order to get a cup of coffee with them. If you wait around for your soul mate to ask you out, chances are you’ll never go on a date again.
Dating is just supposed to be a fun way to get to know another person before you make the commitment to be in a relationship with them.
So guys, don’t be afraid to ask a cute girl on a date; you don’t need to have the engagement ring picked out to do it.
And girls, if a nice guy asks you to get coffee with him, say yes. It’s only a cup of coffee.
