Just today I went to my first hockey game; it was fun. That's really the best I can do. Granted the tickets were free, we sat in a suite, and had free food, so I spent the duration of the game feeling like a Syrian oil sheik. But I realized something at this hockey game, and that is that I truly do not care about sports anymore. Believe me when I say that I really don't mean to sound whiny, negative or basically like the atheist at the party, but I gotta quit lying to myself.

There once was a time when sports were all I cared about. I could name the starting nine for every MLB team. I mean come on, that sentence alone proves how authentic my fan-hood used to be. I'm not really sure what happened, but sports or more specifically the people who liked sports, started to bother me. Sports just started to feel like a one-sided relationship. I had to put all this time, effort, money, and emotion into watching some other guys play a game. I like baseball, but every time I went to a Phillies game they would never let me play.

Why should I be a fan of some guy that I've never known (who will never know me) and make sure I watch him have fun playing a game?

What really changed my views on sports were the god awful and arbitrarily meaningless sports conversations. What can actually be accomplished in a conversation about sports? "I think one team's going to win." "He might play well today." "He didn't play well today."

The only logical conversation you can have about sports that actually satisfies the requirements to be classified a meaningful conversation goes a little something like this:

"Hey who won the game?"

Then answer who won.

End of conversation.

And again, I really don't mean to sound negative and take away something that a lot of people clearly care about, because who reads my articles anyway? But really, how many times can you talk about sports? I'd rather get stuck in the same elevator twice.

To me, and I may be reading into it a bit much, talking about sports seems about as useful as talking about the weather. There are so many more things that are happening that deserve to be discussed and engaged with in a casual manner before sports.

Maybe this last part is just the conspiracy theorist in me but sports seem like one giant and meaningless distraction for everyone to care about while some real sh*t goes down with no one really noticing.

For the last time (if you've made it this far into the article), I don't mean to be a negative Nancy. This is just my opinion, but this is my article so I tend to agree with myself.

Part of me is simply coming out as an ex-sports fan because I think some people were starting to suspect I was in remission. The last two games I've watched I constantly felt the like "the cool girlfriend" trying to care about the game for the sake of the "the guys." While that analogy may be sexist, I want to be clear that, yeah it probably is sexist.

If you're offended enough, please write to me about it and keep up to date with all my articles to see if I changed my chauvinistic ways.