I’ll admit it—I’m a big fall out boy fan. I have been for many years, and their lyrics always strike me as clever, if not poignant words to live by. In one song, there’s a particular lyric that strikes me every time I listen to it, from “Save Rock and Roll”
You are what you love
Not who loves you
In a world full of the word yes
I'm here to scream
No, No
For many years, I thought that being busy and running around from one activity to the next was being “productive.” In reality, it’s just exhausting. It’s mentally and physically tiring to need to be on all the time for people. Being there for everyone and at every event feels like being stretched thin. I’ve found that it’s better to be selective on the things that you do, but be 100 percent there at those events, than the opposite and go to everything while being distracted the whole time. My friends can tell when I am distracted by the other 50 things that I need to do, and it compromises my time with them. One my favorite things to do with my friends is to have a study night together. We take turns hosting and making dinner and work on homework, but we are still able to spend quality time with each other.
Just like my boys from FOB, I’m here to tell you it OK to say no. It’s OK to cut back on people and events that aren’t adding true joy to your life. It’s OK to have a night in to be by yourself, too! As a college student in my last semester, my time is more valuable than any possession that I have right now. Between my work, school, organizations, and the time I spend with friends and family, there’s no room in my life for extra things that don’t matter.
In a world that tells you that being busy is good, that you should take on four jobs, and babysit on your weekends, and attend every football game, and go to three formals every year, and still make it to all your classes, it's OK to only say yes to the important things. It’s OK to not go to some things because you’re simply drained from everything else that you have to do. There is no one who has the right to tell you that you are being lazy. It’s OK to slow down. College is going to be one of the best times of your life. Enjoy it. Don’t let it pass by in a blur because you kept your plate too full.
Learning to say no is a daily habit, but it’s not an excuse to be lazy. Saying no is an important part of staying sane in college! I give you permission to not go out to that party you were invited to by that one guy you met that one time. Stay at home, take a bath, go out with friends, work on a paper. Do what makes you happy, not what you think will make other people happy with you.
