Please tell me I’m not the only one who hates when they see someone they haven’t seen in a while, and they comment on how much you’ve changed. I have especially started to notice this since I moved away to college and to be honest it really pisses me off. Why does someone changing a little or even a lot have to be a bad thing?

I grew up in the same small town my whole life and graduated high school with some of the same kids from my kindergarten class. Excuse me if moving away to a bigger city and attending a more diverse school has changed me. I don’t see why this is such a bad thing? I still have the same morals and basic beliefs, but I have been exposed to so many new things, which have developed me as a person, and I think this is a good thing.

I constantly hear people saying things like “oh my gosh have you heard from so and so lately? She’s changed so much.” Um yeah! So and so has moved on from this small, boring town to a giant university rich in different cultures and environments. And the way I see it, every experience shapes you a little as you go through life. Whether you want to call it shaping or changing, it develops your personality and that’s important. Whether you’re changing in what someone sees as a bad or good way, you’re developing your personal character and that’s all that matters. It’s not important how different you’ve become; rather what’s important is that you’re allowing yourself to experience new things.

I personally have come out of my “shell” in college. I once feared talking to anyone new and never stepped out of my comfort zone, but now I can talk to anyone anywhere about anything. I never used to go to social gatherings in high school because I just didn’t fit in with that crowd, but now? You can definitely find me out pretty much every weekend. I am a very social person. This doesn’t mean I’ve changed into a party animal and have a drinking problem at all. This is just one of the ways that me “changing” has benefited me but others can see it as a negative.

I also came to college with a high school boyfriend. This relationship I quickly realized once I got to school wasn’t healthy for me and wasn’t what I wanted anymore. Everyone was so quick to judge and accusing me of having my priorities wrong and just not making an effort to make my relationship work. No, I didn’t put in effort anymore because it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to take advantage of this time in my life to be selfish and do things only because I wanted to do them for me. This was me changing and it wasn’t bad either. Taking time to figure out what I wanted and what made me happy before committing to another person was best. This change, although some people didn’t understand, was good for me.

Growing up and changing isn’t always a bad thing. You experience new things and grow, which you should never avoid. You should embrace the change and development in your life. What used to make you happy doesn’t always continue to make you happy and it’s okay to change. As long as you’re satisfied with the changes to yourself, there’s nothing to be ashamed of!