The summer following my graduation from high school, my father recommended that I should work as many hours as I could at my retail job in an attempt to earn money for college. It was my first summer free - I had no soccer tryouts to worry about or summer camps I had to pack for. I wanted to cherish the freedom and independence, and the last thing I wanted to do was ask to be stuck inside a humid building all day that received little business. When he told me that “college is expensive,” I shrugged him and the statement off. I thought it was an obvious thing to say and I thought that the university I planned to attend in fall to receive a degree would be just as expensive as any other institution (give or take a few thousand dollars). Instead of applying for other jobs, I was applying suntan lotion onto my body to even out my thousand of tan lines from soccer. I wanted to have a chance to relax and recharge from the past thirteen years while working the amount of hours I desired.

Halfway through the semester was when I discovered something wasn’t quite right financially. In the short span of six weeks, the final paycheck I had earned from my last hard-worked week at the retail store was missing hundreds of dollars. The money was dispersed among different restaurants and clothing stores at the local mall, and very little was sitting comfortably in my savings account. I have always considered myself to be an impulsive shopper, but I didn’t think I was that impulsive. The money I had lost was soon reimbursed with extra money from my loans, but something felt different about this form of currency. It didn’t feel like my money, and that’s because it wasn’t my money. I desired to have the ability to be free and have a good time my first semester or two of college, but I didn’t want to be held responsible for paying back or paying double the amount for a smoothie that only costs three dollars. I felt lost and for the first time in my life, I felt broke.

I had been broke plenty times before in my life, but I don’t think spending all fifteen dollars of my Target gift card on chocolate classifies someone as “broke” when they are only eight years old. I once asked my parents for gas money, but that was simply because I was too lazy to transfer a few dollars to the almighty debit card hiding in my wallet. Near the end of the semester, I reviewed my spending habits in an attempt to discover just why I felt so broke. I had money, but I didn’t want to blow it all on items I knew I didn’t need. I also felt this desperation for a few extra dollars because I didn’t like the feeling of not having something I worked for to spend. I contemplated getting a few jobs, but I didn’t want to risk losing the new friendships I created or my above satisfactory-level grades I studied hours for to earn so early in my college career. It was a coward excuse, but it’s the excuse I used. However, having little to no money is a blessing, and I realized something important that most students should know if they stress about their financial situation while attending school.

It’s okay to be broke in college.

College was created so individuals could receive the opportunity to obtain a degree of some sort, allowing them to enter an area of the work field of their choosing. It was created so the attendees could find something they love doing and succeed at that something. Though most students view it as a time to have fun and escape the standards set for them at a young age by their peers, the money used to sponsor the entertainment is money going down the drain. Very few students stepping foot on the campus for the first time are graced with wealth, the others paying off their education through loans and money acquired through odd jobs or scholarships. When they graduate, they will be as poor as they were the moment they enrolled in the university. However, I feel better knowing that I am broke because my money isn’t paying for a tequila shot bought by an upperclassman because I’m too young to be drinking in the first place. I feel better knowing that I the small bits of financial support my parents are providing are going toward paying off my loans used to attend my dream institution and not towards cosmetics purchases created by a socialite only a few years older than myself.

I still haven’t realized the full value of a dollar, and I might never achieve such a realization. Over the winter break, I requested to be scheduled as many hours as possible in an attempt to earn as much money as I could in the short month I was home. I am still hungry for money because I want to be able to spoil myself and my friends every once in awhile, but I am also hungry for cash because I feel secure knowing I don’t have to live completely off of loan money. Hopefully, I’ll be wiser with my spending habits by the end of the school year (or year in general). I don’t need three pairs of the same jean in different washes from my favorite outlet store, and I definitely do not need five boxes each of cheese pizza rolls and hot pockets from the convenience store down the street. I say that having no money is a blessing because it’s forced me to consider my purchases and think if I consider the items to be a necessity for functioning properly. It’s also helped me find ways to enjoy activities that are either free or low-cost. Of course, I do miss grabbing a cup of frozen yogurt from the shop across from campus, but watching a movie in the comfort of my own bed while inhaling stale popcorn isn’t too bad. I’ll enjoy the broke life while I still can, and many other students should as well.