"How are you?"
"Fine..."
angrybrokensadhurtlostconfusedinvalidweirdfreakabandonedsadsadsadsadsadsadsad... Fine...
As children, we were told not to cry, that we're supposed to always look okay, at the very least. We were told that pain was synonymous with weakness and that it was definitely not okay to be sad. We were told to ask for "support" instead of asking for help because help was weak. We let anger act as sad's bodyguard, and we put up walls. We raged before we cried, yelled before we broke, and pushed people away before pulling them in for a hug. Sometimes, we needed those hugs; we needed to be sad; we needed help; but instead, we learned to be okay.
Now we're stuck in a generation full of self-sustaining and isolated friends, who are all really okay, even when they aren't. We've become afraid to ask anyone for help, or even for support because we're so obsessed with being okay. We've become masks covering the faces of people who are strangers, even to themselves. We have no concept of true joy, as it comes from suffering, and we have no semblance of vulnerability. We're hard. We're angry. We're fine. We're islands. We're not okay.
Merriam-Webster defines "strength" as: "the ability to reduce being broken or moved by a force", but that's entirely impractical. We're humans, and there will be forces that are stronger than us, especially if we continue our pattern of living the "I'm fine" sort of lives. Sometimes, I'm sad, and that's okay. Sometimes, I'm happy, and that's okay, too. Feelings, regardless of what they are, are okay. We aren't made "okay" by not feeling; we're made okay based on how we act when what we're feeling isn't necessarily great.
It's okay to cry and to yell and to hurt, but only if we love while we're doing all of those things. Expressing and validating each others' pain is a way of loving, and it's a way of bringing us one step closer to the community that God made us exist in.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be broken. It's okay to not be okay, because someday, it will actually be okay.
