There’s an episode of the old Berenstain Bears cartoon called “Too Small for the Team.” The general theme is perseverance in the face of adverse circumstances. Franklin the Turtle has a similar episode called “Franklin Camps Out.” There’s also one in Team Umizoomi. And Super Why. And Blues Clues. I could go on.
Perseverance is a value held by kids’ television on the same level as kindness, friendship and forgiveness. It works its way into every show from Nick Jr. to PBS Kids. This is to be expected, of course, in our Calvin-and-Hobbesian culture of “it builds character,” where Americana adages of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and Christian morals of joy in suffering reign supreme. We are a society that worships triumph over hardship.
That’s a good thing, though, isn’t it? Perseverance is, after all, a valuable trait to develop. I think most reasonable people would agree on that. It is true after all that most things in life don’t come easy, and you’ll have to stick it out more often than might be comfortable. So yes, these are good values for kids to learn early on.
Perseverance, however, is not absolute. What I mean by that is that it is not always in your best interest to ‘stick it out.’ This too, I hope, most people would agree with. You wouldn’t encourage a friend to suffer a bad relationship that they know is harmful, or tell someone to stay in a workplace that is insensitive or demeaning. These are not decisions to be taken lightly by any means. You don’t quit your job or leave your partner lightly, but these are real options that ought to be considered. Sometimes, it’s okay to quit.
But that’s not what we tell our kids. There’s no Kipper the Dog episode about the benefits of giving up. Indeed, our culture perpetuates a stigma against quitting. Just the word alone conjures negative connotations, nowhere more so than at a notoriously intensive institute like William & Mary. I am surrounded daily by people who are overcommitted and under-rested, rushing from classes to clubs, performances to exams, pounding coffee and joking about how much sleep they didn’t get.
Now, I know that for many, being busy grants a sort of fulfillment. People thrive on productivity and accomplishment, and I entirely support that, as my schedule itself keeps embracing more and more. This article is not an encouragement of idleness, I hope I’ve made that very clear. But this celebration of doing as much as possible can inadvertently blot out the benefits of taking a step back.
I’m not trying to give one-size-fits-all advice here. Acknowledging when quitting might be beneficial is very personal, and must be applied on a case-by-case basis. I just fear that culturally cultivated pride complexes and general shame-avoidance are often the only motivators for people to ‘stick it out,’ and those are not good reasons to do anything. They are, in fact, terrible reasons.
It’s okay to quit sometimes. There are times when dropping that class, leaving that group, cutting off that commitment is the right decision. I’ve done it, you probably have too. I don’t care what PBS Kids says. You don’t owe anyone anything, and you have no reason to put yourself through undue stress.
