It’s safe to say that all of us (if not most of us) have wanted to fit in. If a group of girls were wearing skinny jeans, you begged your mom to buy them on a shopping spree to Target. If all the boys were good at basketball, you wanted to score as many points as possible. You wanted people to like you; you were so afraid of not being accepted that you were willing to give up a part of yourself just so you wouldn’t have to sit alone on the playground at recess. Unfortunately, this is totally normal. Our American society has a conflict of interest because we preach about the art of individualism and at the same time crucify people for being different. We want to fit in because we want to be loved. We want validation that we’re normal, but sometimes we forget who we are in the process.
Personally, I have never "fit in" or felt well liked. I was never the popular kid who had 1,000 Facebook friends. Instead, I was the one being cyber-bullied. Until high school, I was never the girl with a large group of friends to talk to before the bell rang. Instead, my classmates would stare at me as I walked through the halls. High school was a tad different, but not too much. I finally had my large group of friends and a boy actually wanted to talk to me in public, but everything was more artificial.
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The thing about me was that I didn’t know how to be artificial. Why bother talking about someone behind their back and then pretend that you didn’t? Back in high school, a lot of people liked to do this. I’m not sure if they knew that I knew or not, but they didn’t do a very good job of hiding it. I think some people didn’t like me because I made them feel uncomfortable. I always treated people the way that they treated me. I’m fairly honest, politically incorrect, and I have a dirty sense of humor. Maybe I was supposed to be afraid of getting called names so they could silence me. Sorry guys, you’re not doing a very good job.
Honestly, I really don’t see myself as a bad person. I’ve always tried my best, but at the end of the day, I can name plenty of people that have made it clear to me in many ways that they don’t want me in their lives.There have even been those who have said that I shouldn’t even exist or procreate. Well, sorry, the sperm hit the egg and here I am. You’ll just have to deal with me and the fact that I might have offspring one day. I guess the truth is most people don't want reality; they want to live in a fantasy world. However, I am one to point out the BS when I see it. I guess that whole habit of mine wasn't too popular.
It’s weird because plenty of people have unfriended me on Facebook in the past year, but they each still stay in touch with my friend group; they just choose to ignore me. I guess I could feel insulted or cry myself to sleep because I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Why am I so misunderstood? What can I do to be more like-able? Why can't I be that one person who everyone loves and gets along with? Why do they have to make it so complicated?
See, I’ve been bullied for most of my life. I’m used to the idea of walking alone. If all my friends decided to kick me to the curb tomorrow, I would know how to deal with it because I’m so used to people leaving. I just expect it at this point. I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. There are a lot of people in this world who are absolutely awful, but they will treat you horribly only if you let them. Remember that just because someone hates you does not mean that they don't respect you. So maybe it’s okay if you don’t fit in with the rest of the world like me.
I’m much older now, and I have found that your true friends are the ones that will accept ALL of you, not just a part of you. Your flaws, your talents, your puns, your knowledge, your secrets, and so much more. Just remember that quality outweighs quantity. Years from now, no one will care if you hung out with the cool kids or if you went to the crazy parties. However, they will remember if you were a follower or a leader. Did you sell your soul to be in the “in crowd?" Did you stand up for what you believed in even if it wasn’t popular?
I’m probably not the first one to tell you that it’s OK if someone doesn’t like you. You can’t please everyone. You can’t be everyone’s best friend, and that’s OK. You don’t have to be well liked by a lot of people to be considered worthy of life. Just be the best that you can be because that’s all you have. You are human, remember? And while we’re on this topic, did you ever think that just maybe instead of doing something wrong, you’re doing something right by not being popular? Just a thought.
