There's a reason you can't find love but it's not because of the one who broke your heart.

It's because of you.

One thing social media has shown me is that men and women blame each other for not being able to find love. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Men say every woman is crazy and women say every guy is a player. NEWS FLASH: This isn't true.

I'm here to tell you some things you could be doing better. (Don't leave just yet.)

For starters you can stop running back to the same old relationships that will never work out. I don't mean to be so blunt (well actually I do) but it's something you need to hear. If you don't end up with THE one then they most likely weren't THE one. It doesn't make them a bad person. Why all the hostility? Have our generations grown so accustomed to Hollywood's portrayal of breaks ups? Okay, maybe they cheated on you, abused you, or disrespected you in some way. I'm not saying you have to be their best friend or their friend at all. By all means, never talk to them again. Just please remember that not everyone is like your ex.

Raise your standards. It's not them. It's you. Know your worth. If you respect yourself and stop giving your time to those who do not appreciate it, you might find someone who does. It's okay to not be the girl/guy who gives it up the first night. It's okay to not do what all the other single people are doing in the dating world. Whatever you choose to do, surround yourself with people who make you want to do better in life, not worse.

This isn't a Cinderella story. Stop basing a relationship standard off of Instagram posts. It's not the real deal. There will be arguments and their will be hard times. The perfect relationship is one that works through the hard times together and still makes it out in the end. It's dedication. You can't assume that your partner knows every little thing that makes you happy. Communication is key. Don't assume they know everything. Maybe if your verbalized your thoughts without hidden meanings there would be less arguments.

Learn to love yourself. How can anyone have a healthy relationship if they don't love themselves? It's more than just looking in the mirror and saying, "Hey you. I love you." You have to treat your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self well. Remove the negative routines from your life; the things that don't make you happy. I promise a little bit of weight will be lifted off your shoulders. I guarantee that when you love yourself, your mind will be less occupied by things that don't matter.

Forgive then move on. There's no point in holding grudges. Forgive others for yourself because the only actions you can control are your own. The only thoughts you can hear are you own. Stop assuming you know what's going on in another person's mind. Breakups happen. Relationships don't always work out. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that.

These are just a few things I think we all deserve to know before getting into our next relationship. Take it or leave it. Just know I think you deserve to be happy and happiness starts with you.

Good Vibes & Happy Lives,

Rae Smiles