Can you imagine having a disability and someone saying they did something retarded right next to you? I can imagine that you would be devasted and start to question your worth. Well, every time that word is said, you are making people with disabilities think they aren't good enough.
They are different, but it's okay to be different. Please don't let a word that used to define them be used in a context that is inappropriate.
As a future Special Educator, I can't help but want to cry whenever I hear someone use that word. Whether the person meant it or not, it's unacceptable. Out of all the words in the dictionary, you have to use a word that was used to describe someone with a disability? It physically hurts my heart when someone uses this word because they have no idea how much people with disabilities can do. They are some of the nicest, funniest, and bravest people you will ever meet. They can turn your bad day into a great one in just one second.
If you're someone who struggles with not saying this word, then I have a proposal for you.
I want you to go volunteer at a place for children or adults with disabilities for any amount of time. I can promise you this, you will not want to say the r-word ever again. Once you see how big their hearts are and how much potential they have, you will want to come back over and over again. I know this because that's exactly what happened with me.
I found myself spending my free time volunteering at summer camps because it's what genuinely made me happy. They truly show you that even the simplest thing could mean everything to someone else.
Next time you think about using that word, just remember that the person next to you could have a disability that you don't know about. As a sibling of someone who has a disability, I know how hurtful that word is to hear, especially when it's used in the wrong context.
Just because your friend is doing something silly, doesn't mean it's okay to use a word so demeaning. There are so much more words than the r-word and I hope that you will use them when you have the urge to say it.