“It’s all about perspective.” We hear from our friends, who are gently reminding us that our problems are, in fact, not problems at all. We hear it in songs and we see it on Pinterest boards, journals, coffee mugs, and posters. We are encouraged, when we are upset about something, to simply step away from our issues and consider the much greater issues of others instead. Don’t get me wrong, it is important for us to be grateful for what we have been given. However, not all of our troubles are matters of perspective.

I’m here to say that it is not all about perspective. In reminding others, and ourselves, that our problems can be solved by changing our perspective, we diminish the importance of what we are feeling.

It is not all about perspective. When we encourage perspective, we do not solve problems. Instead, we cause more problems to arise. When we try to approach our problems as a matter of perspective, we add guilt and shame into the mix.

Each person is entitled to their own feelings. These feelings are valid and important. The next time when you gently suggest to your friends that consider changing their perspective in hopes that it will make them happy and grateful, remember that this encouragement comes with repercussions. Now, these individuals will feel guilty for the disappointment that they feel in their own life. They will feel as if their own opinions are invalid.

Instead of encouraging one another to change our perspectives, we should take a little more time. We should talk out our feelings, find the root of the problem, and tackle it from there because it’s not all about perspective. Sometimes, it’s deeper than that.