*WARNING: if you don't understand sarcasm, proceed with confusion.

A good, solid man can solve it all-

be it physical, fiscal, or marital.

In this age of feminism and "Man, hear me roar!"

I seriously ponder, "Why ask for more?"

Over the years, I have learned all my faults.

Society and school have taught me what I lack.

My future is bright, I'll just be a cute wife

because I lost that important promotion to "Jack."

"This is OK."

I will smile in defeat.

Playing second fiddle to men

can be simple and sweet.

I don't have to think,

I don't have to act,

I know a life without men

is not one I can hack.

Who will open that fickle pickle jar?

Or fix those odd beeping noises in my car?!

"What does transmission mean?" as I thumb through the manual...

Cars are something my girly brain just can't handle!

Which brawny fellow

will eat all my Jello

or compliment my risotto with veal?

Who will entertain me

when I'm done folding clothes

or polishing the silver with zeal?

What is the point of looking cute?

Of wearing fancy shoes or smokey eyes-

If I won't get looks from all the guys?

It's preposterous to think

that I'd look hot just for me-

without men, there's no need to be pretty!

There are so many things

I couldn't do without a dude.

To live independently

would be awfully rude.

Forget home DIY,

'cuz I can't break a nail!

Puzzling over finance

makes me want to wail!

Don't fuss over my opinions

or how I'm going to vote-

I'm just here to laugh at corny jokes

and listen to you gloat.

Hide all the money,

you won't think it's funny,

if you leave for two days and it's spent.

Don't give ladies too many opportunities

to run governments or companies,

just a handful to keep us content.

With one last note,

I would like to quote

a gent of great renown:

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
― Mark Twain

According to him,

the future could be grim

if you continue to put women down.

Bruh, stop being a pain.

I know it sounds insane,

but it turns out that you need us too!

So put away your fears,

Change your view of who is able.

Us, women, are perfectly capable

of building and sitting at the table.

Let me wrap up this exercise in creative writing with a little bit of frankness.

While I support feminism, I find that the method of communication when we discuss women's rights can be quite heavy-handed. Many who know me personally can vouch for my reliance on humor to express my thoughts. With a proper dose of sarcasm, I wanted to poke fun at the "ideal life" a woman can expect without the efforts of the Feminist Movement.

I do not intend to be disparaging towards men nor do I want stay at home moms to feel left out of the "feminist circle". To me, feminism is having the choice and opportunity to pick my lifestyle.

If I want to be a career woman and advance in my field, I only want my credentials to influence my pay grade- not my gender. Similarly, if I want to be a "stay at home" mom (who also happens to run the PTA and manage my son's soccer team), I shouldn't be shamed by my strong "feminist" peers.

To me, feminism is being able to vote or having the opportunity to manage my own bank account. I value the freedom to drive a car, alone, and in whatever weird outfit I picked out that morning without repercussion. I am blessed to be a woman in 21st century America.

We still have quite a ways to go for true equality and there are plenty of other issues I passionately want to address in my life. But the serious nature of my goals doesn't mean I can't have a little bit of fun along the way.