So, I have been an introvert pretty much my whole life. I always had a small circle of close friends and enjoyed spending my share of time alone in my room, reading or journaling. As I’ve grown older, I started to notice the differences between introverted people and extroverted people. Since I grew up during this era of increasing internet presence and social media sites, I see that this new cultural/societal growth favors extroverts rather than introverts.

This also doesn’t help when there’s many common misconceptions about introverts and the difference between a mentally ill person withdrawing, and an introvert who just needs some alone time. Of course, there may be overlap too. It is possible to be an introvert who is also mentally ill, however, I think it is important to understand the differences. Noticing your friends and family’s behavior is important; it could help save a life one day! There’s never a simple answer behind questions like: “Why do people commit suicide?” “Why would someone shoot up a high school?” I think it is because the reasons behind such actions are not so simple. Anyways, here’s why introvert is the new black.

Extroverts are usually talkative and charismatic. They enjoy being around people, in fact, they may feel more energized when socializing with others. In most any situation, they would rather not be alone. Introverts are their opposite, we like to be alone. If we have too much social interaction at a time, we feel mentally tired. This mentally tired business is an issue because it isn’t socially acceptable to say, “hey I’m really sorry I’d love to grab dinner but I just had the longest day of my life talking with people and engaging them and listening to them talk.” I know you’re probably thinking well, everyone has to do that and that’s exactly my point! There are some days, some events, some situations we feel that we’ve spent too much time focused on other people’s thoughts and ideas, meanwhile holding back some of our own for the sake of upholding social niceties. I think those are extrovert things too, if you’re an expert at being polite and shooting the shit, you’re probably an extrovert. However, I disguise myself as someone who can pass for extrovert status, but I can only do it with grace for so long. Eventually, I need to sit in a room and be quiet, let my mind be free to explore what it wants to and what it needs to. Usually those things are not really light dinner conversation, which is why I find that sort of socializing draining at times, fluffy conversations have no cause other than filling time and space with words and hand gestures.

If you have thousands of friends on social media and you post pictures every day, you’re probably an extrovert. If you value having lots of people around you and liking your posts, if you want to climb that social hierarchy that’s unfolded before you, then you may be an extrovert. I just want all my fellow introverts to know: the number of people who hit ‘like’ upon seeing your photo or status is not a reflection of your self-worth. It is not a visual representation of all the people who admire or care about you. Some of my most favorite people do not have a social media presence at all!