I have spent too much of my life being unhappy - too much time worrying, feeling inadequate, left out, and sorry for myself. I was always convinced it would never get better, that I would never feel just like everyone else or that I even deserved to be happy. One day I realized that my negative mindset was only attracting more negativity into my life.

I’ve finally decided I am allowed to be happy, and it has always been so easy to achieve. Happiness isn’t something you are born with or need to apply for like a loan; it is available to everyone. And it’s as easy as adjusting your mindset.

1. Rid yourself of any and all negativity.

No one wants to be around someone with a bad attitude. If you have a “the world hates me” attitude then the world will hate you. Stop dwelling on the negative and focus on the positive. Think of all of the things you have been blessed with in your life. I have a heart that beats, lungs that allow me to breathe, ten fingers, ten toes...things we take for granted that unfortunately not everyone has. There are so many things to be happy about (refer to my past article “A Few Of My Favorite Things” https://www.theodysseyonline.com/and-then-dont-fee... ). And while it is okay to be upset sometimes, pick and choose your moments. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life goes on and I promise you’ll be okay.

2. You can’t change the past.

Dwelling on the past is one of the worst things you can possibly do. We’ve all had moments when we’ve made some really bad mistakes, embarrassed ourselves, or life simply didn’t go as planned. However, there is no use in trying to change the past. It is what it is. C'est la vie. What does matter is how you move forward. Take those moments you regret and grow from them. In the end, you’ll be a more thoughtful, intelligent, and happier person. Keep in mind that things happen for a reason. As someone who is extremely stubborn and likes having control, it’s hard for me to go with the flow and let things happen. However, the moments when I do are the moments I am happiest because I don’t spend every second worrying about life’s “what ifs.”

3. Stop relying on others for your happiness.

By letting others dictate your happiness, you give away all control. And unfortunately not everyone is as careful or generous with our happiness as we would like. Being able to trust and rely on others is a great thing, but emotional dependency isn’t. This could be in worrying about how you may be judged, needing validation, or seeking constant approval from others. Trying to find your happiness in others only leads to disappointment when you don’t find what you were looking so hard for. Stop looking for happiness and start creating it.

I’ll be the first to admit that finding happiness isn’t always easy. I get down on myself a lot and let things bother me more than they should. But it’s comforting to know that I am in control of my own happiness. I can be happy anytime I chose, so what’s stopping me? Remember: the only person with the power to create a positive mindset is you.