Hilary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were sworn in as Co-Presidents of the United States today, January 20th, 2017. This marks the first* time in American history in which two people will act as President following an election in which the vote was split exactly 49 percent Clinton and 49 percent Sanders, with the remaining 2 percent voting for Donald Trump.

In order to avoid the appearance of one president taking precedence over the other, both Sanders and Clinton were sworn in simultaneously. They took the oath of office together. Though some in attendance report that Sanders and Clinton seemed to be bumping into each other, those closer to the pair blame this on the wind.

After weeks of debate over which president would deliver their inaugural address first, whether the decision be guided by the rule "ladies first" or "age before beauty," Presidents Clinton and Sanders ultimately solved the problem with the unorthodox decision to alternate words and devise a speech through improvisation. This led to a speech focused on the middle-class defeating ISIS, and promises of a single-payer gun control system.

Over two million people attended the double inauguration event. Mall Security successfully kept the event safe with no reported incidences of violence or crime. The National Mall was respectably clean afterwards; still, most park officers and event coordinators were found shaking and muttering to themselves after the event.

This historic event is only possible due to the little known Article II, Section 1, Subsection H of the Constitution, which states, "Should two presidential candidates receive the same number of electors, and the two presidential candidates receive the same number of votes ... just, like, have them both do it."

Protesters and some constitutional scholars have questioned the legitimacy of a law nobody remembered. However, the Supreme Court has adamantly refused all calls to consider the issue. When asked for a statement, Justice Stephen Breyer said, "Oh no, oh nope nope nope, we learned our lesson the last time, we're steering clear of this one."

Behind him, Justice Clarence Thomas shook his head and grumbled.

Republican response to the situation has been largely negative. Donald Trump has demanded a fourth recount, and has said, "Look, maybe I'd concede once, but twice? Twice? Ya gotta be kidding me! You can bet the Chinese are behind this, or the Mexicans, or..." he continued to list ethnicities he blamed for the election results.

Meanwhile, Senate Republican Majority Leader Mitch McConnell looked dejected in an interview with CNN when he accidentally let slip, "How are we supposed to obstruct two liberal presidents? We had our hands full stopping just the one."

Vice-Presidents Sherrod Brown and Elizabeth Warren were last seen ordering golf clubs and a number of books through Amazon.