I'm a meticulous planner. When I set goals, I will do whatever it takes to achieve them. Sometimes I plan my days out down to the minute in an attempt to make myself feel productive and accomplished. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a perfectionist, but this habit, although it may seem like the perfect flaw, has gotten me into some serious trouble. I've had to learn the hard way that nothing was ever meant to be perfect; that just isn't the way the world works. I also had to resist the urge to make it perfect, and not only accept the world as it is, but also to accept myself.
I had a rude awakening about these harmful habits when I got sick the first week back at school for the spring semester. I was ready to kick things into high gear, and I had very big plans for the semester that I wanted to get started on right away. However, the common cold was more debilitating than I could calculate and I quickly fell short of my goals. I was faced with two options. I could either push through the pain and fatigue, acting though my immune system wasn't busy fighting it's own battles, or I could rest and take it easy so that the illness wouldn't get worse. The answer seems simple, but this is where I had to step back and understand the negative implications that my perfectionism was having on my health. My first instinct was to push through the pain. I wanted to go to all my classes, sit through all my obligations, and work relentlessly on all my assignments, but through extreme fatigue, body aches, and coughing fits, my body made it clear to me that this was not possible and that I needed to re-evaluate my priorities.
Perfectionism, however, doesn't only reflect what we expect our selves to be able to do. It also distorts our expectations of others. Forgiving ourselves for our own imperfections is challenging enough, but I have found that understanding how the imperfections of other people affect our personal lives can provide some insight on letting things go. Whether it's a minor squabble between roommates, or disagreements with a significant other, at the end of the day, putting the argument to rest is the best solution for all parties involved. This peace-keeper mentality should not only apply to forgiving other people's imperfections, but it should also apply to how we treat ourselves.
If I can't forgive myself for my lack of productivity or my inability to meet my own expectations, then I will constantly live in a cycle of disappointment followed by a frenzy of perfectionist habits. However, by slowly realizing that I should treat myself as I would a friend or a loved one and forgive the mistakes I make, I can try to replace perfectionism with a more peaceful outlook on success and productivity.
