My good friend once told me that I’m the happiest person she’s ever met.
Um. What?
When she told me this, a list of things about myself ran in my head as I tried to understand why she thought I was so happy. But I honestly couldn’t think of any.
I have serious RBF, I avoid talking to strangers and hate small talk…yeah I hardly get mad but that’s just because I’m really chill…what in the world makes her think I’m so happy?!
I told her this, and was surprised by her response.
“Because in your very darkest times, you trust God the very most.”
This statement stuck out to me and I immediately became overwhelmingly grateful. Just because in my case and in my life, it’s so true. Not only was I grateful that I had this knowledge about myself, but somehow my friend had recognized it in my own heart, and was inspired by it. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
We live in a world where we want everything, and right away. We desire what we think is best for us; what will give us the most pleasure and make us the very happiest. We know that God also has promised us that if we humbly ask for something, that he will give it to us.
So, obviously, when we don’t get what we want…we are hurt, and frustrated, and discouraged. We ask: Why did God not let me have this? Or: I worked so hard for this, and did everything I could. Why did God let me fail? Or: Why does God not love me? If he did, he would have answered my prayers.
It is so easy to get caught in this destructive thinking, especially when we are broken hearted. However, when you take away the “Whys” in the present, and consider the “Whys” in the future, you can understand why God sometimes tells us “No.”…
It’s because He has something better in store for you.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. So many times in my life I have looked back at the struggles I have gone through, when God has told me “no,” only to realize he had something better and bigger planned for me. I’ve learned that it is the defining element in your trials that makes all the difference: Trusting in Heavenly Father no matter what. God is in the very details of your life. Even when you don’t understand something, you can have peace and know this.
So maybe I didn’t make the soccer team my freshman year because I needed to push myself and join cheerleading.
Maybe I didn’t get into that University because my best future was at a different one.
Maybe my boyfriend and I had to break up because I deserve someone better.
Maybe I have the flaws that I have to teach me to be humble.
Maybe going through sad times will make me more compassionate, so that I can help someone else going through the same thing I did.
To this day, there are still some things that I don’t understand why they happened to me. There are so many questions I have: why God said “no,” why I couldn’t have this, why I didn’t succeed. But I know the course of my life was changed for a reason. And all I can do is realize that I may not know the answer to those questions now…but some day I will. And that makes all the difference.
