Love is an amazing thing, but only when it works both ways. A one way relationship is a situation that can end in a lot of pain. If you are not ready to commit to someone, then why play games with their heart? Why keep someone around when they are not your one and only?

As I grow older, I am able to see the importance in relationships. After long days that include classes, studying and working, among other things, I want to know that I am coming home to the same person every night. Commitment to me means being someone’s one and only. Texting and calling the same person every day and spending time with that person every night. I do not want to have to question if the man I am with is flirting or hanging out with another girl. When walking into a relationship, I immediately expect commitment. It is now apparent to me that some people do not expect the same.

My generation seems to have missed the memo about commitment. The terms “relationship,” “dating” and “talking” have taken on a new meaning in this generation. Relationships always involve commitment while dating can mean something different. A couple can “talk” for months but not make it an official yet, so it is unclear if they are dating or not. This leads to commitment having to be topic of conversation between the couple even after months of seeing each other. Back in the day, couples were either dating or not dating, there was none of this in between that consists of no commitment. This new way of dating is an inconsistent change in this generation that only ends in pain and confusion.

As a female looking for a committed relationship, this trend within my society angers me. The more common it becomes, the more common it will become for people to lack commitment even in relationships. A couple should take each other by storm and want to commit to each other immediately. And if not, it is not meant to be.

In every new relationship there is the awkward stage when you do not know where things are going. The lack of commitment in this generation makes this stage even harder. I want to settle down and know someone is committed to me, not “talk” for weeks and still not know where things are going. There is a sense of uncertainty in a relationship when the commitment is not there or things are not made official so you are unsure if the other person is committed.

Something I have learned over the years is to never put myself in a situation where I am viewed as an option. If you cannot choose me immediately, why should I stay around and be considered an option? I want to be treasured and feel secure in my future relationship, not feel like I am only an option to the person I choose to have a relationship with.

I am searching for a man who will love me openly and return every feeling I have towards him. It is hard to think I will find that relationship when I cannot even find commitment at this day in age. I need to know the man is all in and commitment is only step one towards that secure relationship. If you take months just to commit, it will make me question what the future of our relationship will be like and if you will struggle to commit later on also.

Commitment is a very important role in a relationship. It is a base that every other quality in that relationship can build off. I have witnessed too many people get hurt by people who were not ready to commit. This is a trend of our generation that needs to come to an end. I hope that one day commitment is instant in relationships of the generations to come. I hope that one day no one is getting hurt by other people’s lack of commitment.