United Airlines has recently been under fire for a controversial decision barring two female passengers from a flight for wearing leggings. Tremendous backlash ensued, and the incident has inspired a national conversation.

The Washington Post recently published a perspective piece by Robin Givhan entitled "Sure, You Can Wear Leggings On A Plane, But Please Don't." "Dress not for yourself but for the strangers whose personal space you will be forced to invade," Givhan said.According to the piece, wearing leggings is inconsiderate to other travelers.

Um... what? Yeah... No.

Planes are 3-12 hours of endless waiting, cramped backaches, stressful sprints, awkward gropings, heavy luggage, logistical headaches, intermittent panic, and physical contortion.

Leggings are comfortable. They are not unsightly. They are not unseemly. They are not designed to have any effect on you at all. The person who invented leggings did not give a f**k. The person who invented leggings was just f**king done.

That person had done all the kinds of pants, and was like, f**k it, what if we didn't do pants at all. What is the literal bare minimum we can swing? What is the least amount of Pants we can do while still technically doing Pants?

That is the exact Equation used to create leggings.

Leggings are a phenomenon of modern life. They are the un-pants. They are the loophole. They are the "why the hell not." They are the fairest fruit borne of first world feminist no-f**ks-given and the unnecessary innovation of late-stage capitalism. Leggings are an achievement of modern man and womankind.

We have been oppressed by Pants for too long. Since days of yore, womankind has been imprisoned by the tyranny of the corset, the petticoat, the pantyhose, the high heel, the miniskirt, and the fishnet tights, the padded bra. At last, we've had enough. We like comfort, and moving around. We like stretching our legs in public. We like waistbands that don't need belts. We like to not be thinking about our clothes all the time.

So we wear leggings. And leggings are the best.

It is endlessly ironic that leggings are a source of such contention and debate. The amount of institutions and dress codes that have banned, specifically, leggings, is downright absurd. Leggings offend people. People have very strong feelings about them. They've got downright moral convictions, you know.

It's an ethical issue, to be honest. It's a dilemma of morals, decorum, and respectability. It's a social issue we all need to really ponder quite deeply in our hearts.

Except it's... not?

Except it seriously has nothing to do with you at all?

Except leggings were most certainly not designed with your opinion in mind? And your opinion on women's attire is not nearly as highly esteemed and sought-after as you think? Spare us your sage wisdom just this once- I swear we'll live.

If leggings do destroy society and patriarchal norms, then honestly that sounds even better.

But I promise you, no one who wears leggings even remotely gives a sh*t about that when they're getting dressed for the day. I'm not saying we're NOT plotting patriarchy's overthrow, but I can say we're not using leggings to do it.

Policing women's bodies is a time-honored American tradition. If a woman gets dressed and no man has an opinion, did she really get dressed at all? The world will never know.

You're a prude, or you're a slut.

You're preserving your consumable "goods" from the (apparently) inherently violent male gaze, OR you're dangling your consumable "goods" before everyone's eyes and tempting them in to their (apparently) natural state of violence.

Either way, the blame rests on you.

Your body is a public asset that exists for decoration and the express purpose of sexual consumption, a vehicle for commercial sales, and procreation. These are public resources that can be allocated and used for these purposes only. The use of the female body must be policed and legislated by the more responsible paternalistic moral concerns of male society. The female herself does not possess agency. Any freedom to act over her body in a way not condoned by male consensus is considered a violent act. It's considered a social issue that affects everyone.

Except it's really not. Except it really has actually, quite literally, down to the letter, absolutely nothing to do with you at all. And it is none of your goddamn business. Women's dress is not a social issue up for debate.

The only thing that should be up for debate is your arrogant insistence on regulating it.

So stop having these conversations. Stop dignifying this oppressive rhetoric. Stop shaming women for everything they do. Stop criminalizing the female body.

Stop assuming violence is the natural intent of the male gaze. Stop justifying your mistakes and your flaws. Start accepting responsibility for just plain being a pervert. It's not because you've been provoked or insulted by a woman's dress. It's not because you're "programmed." It's not because of "male instinct." Dude, it's because you're a creep.

Stop assuming a woman's dress is in any way reflective of her character. Stop making moral judgments based on women's dress. Stop assessing worth based on women's dress. Stop judging personality. Stop claiming moral wrongdoing. Stop finding justifications for the fact that you have a creepy obsession with controlling women and the way they use their bodies. To be honest, please stop sharing your opinion at all.

Because no one cares. Please let me reiterate: no one cares, and no one will ever care what you think about this.

Because women are going to wear leggings.

And I am wearing leggings on an airplane.

And this does not affect your flight or your "experience" in any way.

And leggings are a marvel of modern time and if you guys are so distraught over their existence, I just want to let you know that it's cool, okay> Men can wear leggings too! And I know this all just stems from jealousy that we get extreme comfort and you don't. So I just wanna say no one's stopping you. You can totally feel free to wear leggings anytime, if that will help you chill out with this absurd legging envy.

I mean, legging envy is my only current theory to explain this obsession. Because, well- thanks for your opinion, but did I ask you?

Did I ask you?

Ask you ever? Did I somehow imply I asked you? Did I ponder for one second how this would affect your life?

Do I share your weird fetish with policing women's clothing? Do I remotely care about this creepy fetish? Do I intend to justify or normalize it in any way?

Or am I... just wearing leggings... on an airplane...Because I want to?

And unless they've made new legging explosiveshat is the only justification I need.

And I refuse to defend my decision like your opinion is in any way important (because I do not have to).

That's all.