I started college with motivation, ambition, and a plan. I was going to graduate early with a degree in psychology and sociology, with a business minor. I was going to excel and do amazing things. However, after my first semester I realized that I wanted to be a teacher. Something about inspiring young kids gave me passion, and I was eager to do so! As I am typing this I can be confident in saying that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do anymore! It took me quite a long time to come to terms with it, and now I have the courage to put it in writing.
See, for anyone familiar with Harry Potter, I am a Slytherin. I am ambitious, cunning, resourceful, and determined. I am proud to be that, and I represent my house with proud. So when I realized that I had no clue what I really wanted to do, it hurt, a lot. I did not want to tell my mom because I was afraid of her reaction. Though when I told her she was very understanding, and even suggested I take a small break so I can figure out just what I want to do. I was afraid my friends would think I was a slacker. I had already changed my major once, and I really didn’t want to do it again.
The problem is that I enjoy doing a lot of things, and I see myself doing each thing that I love. I can see myself acting, or being an editor in chief at some magazine in New York City. I see myself teaching small kids, or even being a psychologist! Truth be told, I wish I could do it all! I mean, who was it that said we had to figure everything out at this age? It isn’t fair! I am not even twenty yet, and yet I am being forced to make a decision that is going to alter the rest of my life! What if I wake up one day and decide that I don’t want to be in that career field anymore? Or what if I graduate and find out I’m not really good at it?
Making the decision to take a break from school was a very hard choice. There are many people who I haven’t even told, which is why I am writing about it instead. That way I don’t have to hear what negative things they may say about it. I am not taking a break because I hate school, I am taking a break because I truly need to learn who I am. I need to find out what I want to do, and what I don’t want to do. It won’t be easy, but I can do it.
So if you are sitting there in the same position I am in, know you aren’t alone. Don’t get discouraged, and don’t get up. I know it can be hard to see all of these people achieving their dreams, and their plan is working out for them! God has a different plan for everyone. And I am going to step back and let him take control. Maybe I spent too much time thinking of what I want to do, and I haven’t spent enough time listening to what God wants me to do!
I will never give up, and even though I am at a red light on my road, I am just going to be patient! I know that I will figure things out eventually, and that doesn’t make me any less of a Slytherin!
