Guys and gal and non-binary pals: how many of you have a list? You know, that list of how many people you're talking to or hooking up with without commitment. There's nothing wrong with having a list. In fact, there's nothing wrong with talking to several people at the same time. If neither of you is in a committed relationship, you're free to talk to whoever you want.
However, for some strange reason, when you're hanging out with someone and someone else that you're talking to calls you up, guilt and nervousness make their appearance, causing overthinking and suspicions from the other party. You see, they could assume you're already taken if you're acting secretive. If you're talking to someone else, they would not mind much unless it contradicts a previous claim. My point? Kick the guilt away. If there is no emotional guilt, that's good. However, if there are double standards, please stop.
I have noticed through my friends that guilt and double standards mostly go hand on hand, which is very funny since none should exist when neither of you has spoken about not seeing other people. Is it okay to tell the person you're talking to that they're not the only one you're talking to? Yes. Is it okay to say that after saying you want a close relationship? No. Is it okay to get mad and possessive after finding out they're seeing other people besides you (who, by the way, is also seeing other people)? No!
Why have double standards? What good does that bring? You keep making yourself mad, make others point out how selfish you are being and get mad at them because you know they're right! You might be thinking, "how do I avoid all of that?" Well, first of all, be honest to yourself. If you know you don't like having the person you're talking to talking to someone else, then don't do it to them. Second, come clean from the very beginning. Let the other person that you're both allowed to see other people until you agree to be committed to each other.
Last but not least, it's normal to talk to other people, the dating world is huge! It's also okay to just talk to one single person until you know you'll be just friends.
