How does anyone know if they like someone or just the idea of them?

Love is a concept that’s been explored by many, for hundreds of years, and yet few people understand it. I’ve been in love several times in my mind but in hindsight, I can honestly say I’ve only been in love once. It was in high school and it was intense, lovely, horrible, and heartbreaking, passionate, and amazing. It ended after four months and since then I’ve been trying to replicate that emotion. I, like most people, confuse how awesome someone is because they’re attractive. We’ve all done it and we’ve all seen it. There’s a whole movie based off it-- 500 Days of Summer anyone?

Since the inception of college, I’ve found myself “in love” with many people, but in hindsight it’s always turned out to be infatuation. If a cute guy liked my favorite band or director, I’d immediately assume that we were meant to be and that the universe had finally introduced me to my soulmate. And then I’d talk to them more...that’s it. That’s how you know if you’re infatuated with someone or actually “in love”. That may sound trivial or obvious to some but think about it--most of the time when we’re talking to someone we’re thinking about what we’re gonna say, right? So, when I say that you know when you start talking to them, I mean, you actually listen and enjoy what’s coming out. You can spend an entire day with that intellectual, charmer and not get bored. Infatuation is a music video-everything is cool, there are some slow motion scenes, and a nice beat to drive everything home. Falling in love is the music video, yes, but it’s also the behind the scenes. It’s the director screaming at the actors because they’re only using non-diegetic sound, the intern who hasn’t slept in weeks, and the slightly chubby, ass-always-out guy working on blocking. They say you should fall in love with your best friend and to a certain extent, I wholeheartedly agree.

Friendship is easy, effortless, and it doesn’t expect you to be perfect. When you’re trying to figure out if you love him or her or them, ask yourself: how comfortable do I feel around this person? Do I always have to be perfect? If you come home from a date and realize you had lipstick on your teeth the entire time, would you be embarrassed because you weren’t flawless? Another significant way to tell if you’re in love or just infatuated is acknowledging faults. Do you see the faults in your significant over or are they perfect in your mind? If you think your S.O. is flawless, chances are you’re infatuated and only seeing the music video, in HD. Infatuation happens daily, it’s a dime a dozen, actually falling in love, rarely happens. Our country's high divorce rate is proof that people don’t distinguish the differences between love and infatuation before swearing their souls together for all eternity. Don’t be afraid to fall in love and don’t be afraid to question it.