The Netflix show Indian Matchmaking is a modern take to traditional Indian arranged marriage. Matchmaker Sima Taparia travels the world helping the current generation of Indians find suitable partners that meet both their standards and their families' standards. She makes it a point that to find happiness in marriage, parties must be willing to make concessions and adjustments.

At first, this process seems more progressive than traditional arranged marriage, where the groom or bride's family essentially makes all the decisions. However, delving deeper into the show, issues of casteism, colorism, and sexism are pulled into the conversation. It is clear that these issues have not remained in the past or just in the mother country, but have spread to the Indian diaspora and current generation. Both potential partners and their families often make it clear that they want a "fair-skinned" match or that women should be the ones making adjustments to their behavior for men and never the other way around.

Arranged marriage in India has its roots buried in the Hindu caste system, a form of social hierarchy correlated to wealth and religion. This classist society created an obligation for individuals to marry within their caste to preserve their status. Today, the caste system is directly responsible for many of the discriminatory practices still found in India, where people of lower castes experience violence and lower qualities of life.

India is also home to many colorist and sexist inclinations. Individuals with darker skin are viewed as less attractive and of lower standards. Skin lightening brands clearly depict the Indian ideal as a fair-skinned beauty, which feeds into discrimination against South Indians who are generally darker-skinned simply due to the sunnier climate. Furthermore, most of these standards are geared towards women. The general notion in India seems to be that women should be the ones to meet the standards of men and not the other way around. Traditionally, this is evident in the practice of offering a dowry to the man's family, as if the woman's family must pay their counterpart to "accept" their daughter.

Now, Indian Matchmaker does eliminate many of these outdated notions - both the parents and the potential matches have a say in the marriage, dating is common, and the idea of a dowry is simply not on the table. But comments about how the match must have fair skin or must be a certain caste, or that the woman must manipulate her needs to be accepted often make their way into the preference list. What is most concerning is that it comes from both the parents and the current generation.

Now, it is easy to defend the show saying that these issues must be brought up for anything to change, but the problem is that these issues are never actually addressed. Sima does not seem to really view these preferences as problems per se but simply as unrealistic standards. This is what is problematic. Demanding a certain caste or skin tone and requiring women to not go out much are not just "unrealistic standards" but are harmful thought processes that should have been driven out through generations, especially since the current generation has been exposed to modern ways of thinking.

The show seems to say that these discriminatory standards are just hard to meet but ok to have when they are absolutely not - this is even more harmful when you consider how non-Indians are also watching this show and this is the view that they will have on the Indian diaspora and continent. While any sort of Indian representation is appreciated, it is important to remember that we many Indians actually do not agree with the problematic aspects of Indian culture - while we want these issues to be addressed, we want them to be addressed and discussed in a constructive manner, not just tossed into the conversation for them to be taken as just how Indian culture "inevitably" is.