I have a cousin. For the sake of his privacy we'll call him Tristan.
Tristan is black. He comes from a black mother and a black father. He plays every sport but he's really good at football so that's what you find him doing 90% of the time that he is outside with his boys. He has warm eyes and he's tall. He's a super sweet guy and if you ever need help you can definitely call on him.
All the ladies love him ! They think he's so handsome ! His only fault ... He will only date white girls !
We come from a big family of strong black women who for the most part do what they have to do to get whatever it is that needs to be done ... done ! It was shock to me when all of the cousins were older and it was finally time to start thinking about dating and I found out that most of his girlfriends were white. Now I'm not bashing white girls but it seemed like in only wanting to date white girls my cousin was essentially hating black girls.
And in this new day and age it's actually quite common for African-American men to not pursue a relationship with African-American women. They get on social media and bash us day in and day out. They say our hair is never done, all we do is complain, we do not cook, we do not clean, we are unbearable creatures.
My father taught a long time ago to never let a man make you feel good about yourself, you must love yourself first before anyone comes into your life. However, the comments still bother me. I attend a PWI so the black swimming pool is very shallow as it is and most of the black boys on the campus swim in the white girls swimming pool. And if they can't get a white girl they'll try Asian, or Hispanic but almost never black.
So what's the issue?
Some can chop it up to family. Tristan's mother & grandmother have the tendency to be ... un-enjoyable at times. They make a scene at certain places and act just very ratchet at moments. It makes for a cringe-worthy experience all around. That's what turned my cousin off from wanting black girls.
Another reason could be that Black boys have been conditioned by society to think that the best way to get ahead is to have a white girlfriend/wife. Almost every black D1 football player has a white girlfriend. Black Twitter calls it their weakness ! A bunch of black celebrities have white wives/girlfriends.
Another reason could be that they simply just like what they like. And that is no way a problem. The problem when you begin to bash black girls and forgetting that your MOTHERS, SISTERS, AUNT, GRANDMOTHERS AND COUSINS are what ... BLACK !
This Omari Hardwick otherwise known as GHOST on Starz's Power and his wife.
This is music producer Quincy Jones and his ex-wife.
Another reason (and I saw this first hand at my school) some black boys have general hatred for black females! They want nothing to do with us. I saw a guy at my school who ONLY had white girlfriends and did nothing but bash black girls. Now this is scary because it seems like their are more & more men like this everyday.
This is rapper/actor Ice-T and his wife. In 2015 Ice-T had these among other comments to say about black women...
That's why you always hear older black females telling younger generations that they are beautiful because sometimes society does not make us feel beautiful and the people other than our family who could help us reassure ourselves of our black beautifulness are not interested in us.
And it doesn't just go for men! I know PLENTY of black girls who would rather date outside of their race then deal with all the problems that black men come with. They say their controlling, unloving, verbally abusive, forgetful and just all around not the type of person that they would want to spend the rest of their life with. So please do not think that black men are the only ones who can be harmful to the black community.
I think I'll take my men like how I take my berries ... DARK ! Black Love for me is beautiful and yes all love is beautiful but we all have a favorite that we root for, this just happens to be mine. I am a Black Female who will marry a Black Male & maybe one day create and help grow beautiful Black Children together, because we live in a society that does not love Black people and it is our duty to change that narrative.
