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iPhone 7 Prototype Lost at Sea After Engineer Tries to Take Selfie with Endangered Dolphin

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Mar 01, 2016

iPhone 7 Prototype Lost at Sea After Engineer Tries to Take Selfie with Endangered Dolphin

SANTA TERESITA, ARGENTINA- A vacationing Apple engineer dropped the only IPhone 7 prototype in existence into the Atlantic Ocean last week after trying to take a selfie with two baby dolphins that swam too close to the beach.

Two baby Franciscan dolphins swam too close to the shores near Buenos Aires and were subsequently picked out of the water by curious beachgoers.

The Apple prototype apparently slipped out of the engineer's hands during the ensuing selfie chaos and landed in the sand, where it was then carried away into the ocean by a wave.

Onlooker Francisco Fernandez said that the engineer had a "weird-looking iPhone," and that he was "super pissed after he realized he didn't have his phone."

"This is certainly a setback for us," said Apple CEO Tim Cook in a statement. "That was literally the only iPhone 7 in existence. It's okay, though because we have a metric f*ckton of money to build another one. Seriously. I wipe my ass with Benjamins."

In a Twitter post, Apple CFO Luca Maestri said, "We have to build a whole new #Iphone7 prototype ugh #seriously #screwthosedolphins"

There is no word on whether or not the engineer is still employed by Apple.

The iPhone 7 is rumored to have the same screen sizes as this current generation, but will reportedly be thinner. So much so, in fact, that it will be completely devoid of a headphone jack. It is also expected to have a 12-megapixel camera, with over 200 gigabytes of storage to back it up. iOS 10 will also come pre-installed on the iPhone 7, with an Apple A10 processor providing the power.

Because it's so thin and sleek, it is believed that the iPhone 7 is tough to hold in one's hand, which could be the reason why this vacationing Apple engineer lost it in the sea.

"The next iPhone might be waterproof, so this could actually be a pretty fruitful test," said Apple's Senior Vice President of Software Engineering Craig Federighi. "If anyone finds the prototype in the Atlantic Ocean, please get it back to us at 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, California."

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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