Small talk: it's an introvert's nightmare. We hate -- hate -- that senseless social construct where we are obligated to mindlessly chit chat with someone.
Introverts only have a limited amount of social energy to last through the day, and we generally try to save it for engaging conversations with closer friends. Despite our best efforts, we sometimes get trapped in small talk. Here's a look into our brains:
1. Crap, I know her. Please don't see me...
I like you, and I want to be friends with you, but I really don't want to do the awkward small talk dance that I know is about to happen.
Same, Darcy. Same.
2. She saw me.
What I say: "Oh hey! So good to see you!"
What I mean: " ...Here we go."
3. What do I say? How does one greet a person?
Do I need to stop and have a conversation or just quickly say hello?
What if I start a conversation, and they wanted to keep on walking? What if I keep walking, and they think I'm rude for not stopping to chat?
How do people read these social situations so effortlessly?
4. The conversation's stalling, and it's my turn to speak, but there are no words in my head.
5. WORDS. THINK OF WORDS.
Anything will do, just say something!
...anything but that.
6. After this, I'm Googling "small talk topics" and tattooing them on my wrist.
7. I wonder when it's socially acceptable for me to leave.
8. I wonder if she'll go away if I drop hints about being busy.
9. When was the last time I blinked? Am I smiling too much?
10. Why do people like chatting? This is awful.
I really do like you, but can we talk about something worthwhile? Or at least interesting?
11. This is exhausting. I'm actually dying.
12. For crying out loud, talking to this chick is like getting smacked by waves. She's just so enthusiastic.
13. I need introvert time ASAP.
14. Next time I see someone I know I'm going to pretend I just got an urgent phone call.
15. It's over! She's leaving! I did it!
*texts extroverted best friend*
"I just small talked for 10 whole minutes!"
"OMG so proud of you!"