Something one of my best friends wrote has always stuck in my head. I was proof-reading over her application for a leadership position she was up for (because I’m that crazy grammar-loving friend,) and I read this:
“I am definitely an extrovert and love to be around (most) people, which is always a plus in this extrovert-friendly world we live in.”
That is sadly, incredibly true, but it makes sense when you think about it. The way the world is set up, extroverts almost always get the upper hand. How many kids have posters of movie stars or famous singers on their wall? How many have major screenwriters or audio engineers?
Extroverts are fueled by other people's company and energy. They tend to be more outspoken and outgoing. Jobs that entertain or motivate you are usually filled by extroverted individuals. Everyone loves the hilarious comedian on stage, the singer that brings tears of joy to your eyes, and the celebrity you’ve idealized ever since you first saw them on the silver screen. They’ll probably be the first ones to approach the shy new kid and make him smile. Extroverts are generally fun-loving, center-of-attention-loving kind of people.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
Introverts tend to keep more to themselves. They’re not the first ones to take the mic on karaoke night, if they go up at all. An introvert can be the quiet kid in the back of class who makes a hilarious, sarcastic comment every few classes that makes the whole room erupt laughter. They’re just as happy watching people compete in a dance-off from the edge of the crowd as extroverts are in the middle. They recharge from time spent alone. They tend to be more listeners than talkers.
And there's also nothing wrong with that.
People are just wired differently. Really.
If the whole world was made up of talkers, then there would be no one to listen. And vice versa. There's a balanced amount extroverts and introverts because that is what makes the world work. And just because someone doesn't talk every time a teacher asks a question doesn't mean he or she doesn’t have ideas. They may even have more ideas than the person who shoots their hand up before the end of the question mark is even out of the teacher’s mouth. Introverts usually are just as involved in class mentally as extroverts are physically. They are analyzing the content and figuring out what they believe before sharing what that is. And aren’t we at school to stretch and shape our minds? Not to get a gold star for fulfilling the minimum word count?
If you couldn't already tell, I tend to lean more to the introverted side. No, I'm not a hermit, though I've been called one. Some nights, I'd just rather stay home and have just a couple friends over or read in my room instead of going to a party packed with people. That doesn't mean I don't like fun or hanging out with my friends. I do. I love going out to movies with my friends, cheering along at some high school football games, and exploring what there’s to do in new cities.
I've even been in a few school musicals. I enjoy the community and being an extra singing along in the back. I've made some amazing friends during the shows, mostly extroverts, of course. I’ve had a couple lines in some shows and a few group dance numbers, and that's the way I like it. I wouldn't like to be a lead. That is for someone else. I’m just as happy helping out backstage as a stage manager as I am being out on stage. No, I'm don't believe I'm "letting my fear control me," “not living my fullest life,” nor "letting life pass me by." I genuinely enjoy spending time, quite literally in the background and watching other people be the leads.
But before I go any further, I’d like to clarify something; I’m not saying never leave your comfort zone. That is 100% necessary for character development and maturing throughout life. I’ve left my comfort zone more that I would’ve liked to. Fortunately, I attend a very small school that won’t allow you to just breeze by without getting involved. Auditioning for a play in the first place is putting myself out there. My school will be putting on Beauty and the Beast this winter. I really hope I get to be a dancing spoon. Someone else can be Belle. And I don't believe there's anything wrong with that.
You wouldn't tell an extrovert he needs to stay home and read quietly with a hot cup of tea instead of going to a party with his friends, so I don't understand why people say the opposite to an introvert. Introverts and extroverts have wildly different skill sets, but both are just as essential to the development of the world.
There’s nothing wrong with having different ideas of fun. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to never leave your house and barricade yourself in your room, never trying anything that you deem “not for you.” I recognize it's unhealthy to never leave your comfort zone, but I know it's also wrong to pretend to be someone you're not.
To every extrovert reading this: The world already bends in your favor. Don’t make introverts feel ashamed for not being something they weren’t meant to be. Variety is what keeps the world interesting. This also means, don’t be afraid to be you. You’re outgoing and thrive on other people. Never lose that spark, but also, try something new every once in a while. Maybe it’s outside of your comfort zone to not have people over every night. Shake it up every now and then; you may surprise yourself.
To every introvert reading this: It’s okay to be yourself. Don’t listen to the people who tell you that you need to be more like Insert Outgoing Friend/Sibling/Celebrity Here. They are wrong. You need to be you. That said, do leave your bubble every once in a while, and try something new. You never know; you could make a new friend, find a new hobby, or have an experience you learned an invaluable lesson from, but you’ll never do again.
That’s just life. It’s a mixture as everything good, bad, ugly, uncomfortable, beautiful, and surprisingly magical. Neither being an introvert nor extrovert is a bad thing. It's just the way you're wired. Be true to yourself, and always try to keep an open mind.
