My introverted nature has always been a protective barrier for me. It has allowed me to keep my emotions safe and sound inside my head instead of them running wild on others tongues. It's always been something I've been thankful for... until this summer.

I normally don't tend to have problems keeping my internal emotions in check. I'm a bury it and leave it alone kind of girl. I don't like to talk about my feelings because then I realize that I have a lot and that's always been something that overwhelms me greatly. This summer has been like the longest overwhelming conversation about my feelings imaginable. Except I'm having that conversation with myself. Constantly.

I've occasionally fought battles with loneliness but nothing compared to the extent I currently am. As some of you know the day after my high school graduation my family moved across the country. I expected to have a slow summer but I guess I wasn't able to grasp just how emotional and lonely my summer would be.

I was and still am incredibly thankful that we moved on from where we lived. I'd also like to be very clear that I am finding joy in discovering a new part of the county as I begin to find comfort in calling the East Valley of Arizona my home. Before I continue, yes, I understand that I'm not entirely alone- my parents and brother are with me but this has been a painfully lonely summer.

At first, I was motivated to keep myself busy. I woke up early every morning and spent time at the gym, floated in our new pool, started rereading a few books, and was hell bent on trying to keep up with a fabricated positivity that I was going to make it out of this isolated summer like a champ.

As the days went on I started to try to write about my emotions because I never really know how/what I feel until I started hitting these keys and it just kind of spills out. So basically all you're reading right now is my 10:34 P.M emotional word vomit as I try to figure out why I'm bothering to put these feelings online.

I've been at a point recently where I feel as if I'm being physically crushed by loneliness' oppressive nature. I can't sleep at night but I can't stay awake during the day, I don't go in the pool, the new book I bought is untouched, but I understand that although I'm not making it out of this summer without scratches I'm coming out an emotionally stronger person than before.

Not being physically surrounded by familiar faces this summer has been the root of my internal challenge. I'm not super open with my emotions (obviously lol) but the emotional release of getting to be in the company of people who share your interests is insane.

I never realized how valuable it was to me to just simply be around people more often than I choose to be. It's almost silly that it took me not having this to realize it was something I desperately needed.

I can say that in the midst all this overwhelming loneliness and mental backsliding into my former lifestyle that was consumed by depression and anxiety there have been two sweet victories. Their names are Alex and Taylor and I couldn't more thankful that they were both kind enough to reach out through social media and invite me to spend time with them. The two of you have no clue how at home you've made me feel here in the two days that we've gotten to hang out.

I think I've figured out my point to all this but hey maybe not. Just because I am introverted doesn't mean that I don't need human connection just as much as the next person.

And that's not just a PSA for people who know introverts; it's a lesson I've had to learn this summer. Independence is great to an extent but we were not meant to do this life alone, God designed us to live in community with one another in order to uplift and encourage those around us.

Because of this summer, I get that it's okay to struggle, be sad, be lonely and talk about it a little, even if that means being uncomfortable. I've learned that it's not okay to assume that I can handle everything on my own because I can't.

My biggest take away as I move into the next season of my life is that while being introverted is wonderful and I love it, I need to find a constant outlet for my emotions and attempt to push myself out of my comfort zone every once and a while because it tends to be a lonely place to be.