Problems With Being An Introvert | The Odyssey Online
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As An Introvert In Need Of A Listening Ear, Please Stop Advising Me Like I Need Help


It's okay to listen and not give any advice because sometimes that's all that we ask for.

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Unsplash / Andre Hunter
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I think being an introvert is great. I've accepted that it is part of who I am, but don't mistake that statement as saying that there are downsides to it. I have many problems with being an introvert, but I've learned to accept them, even if they won't be fixed. I don't expect those who aren't introverts to understand.

I'm an introvert, which mostly means I'm shy, anti-social, and struggle to tell others about myself. It takes a while for me to open up to people. I'm quiet and get uncomfortable when I'm with large crowds.

As an introvert, I struggle to tell others, including close friends, about my problems. Why? Because I'm scared they won't listen. I'm not trying to get you to understand. I'm not asking for sympathy or pity. I'm asking you to listen. It's already exhausting keeping a mask on 24/7, don't make it harder by comparing our problems. Don't make it harder by not listening for two minutes. I know we aren't going through the same thing. The hardest thing you went through will not be the same as the hardest thing I went through, especially considering if I'm an introvert and you're an extrovert.

So, why keep a mask on 24/7 if you want people to notice? Because I don't see the difference anymore. If I feel like venting, I'm held back with the idea that no one's going to listen or they're going to give me advice. There won't be any difference from when I keep the mask on or off because both ways when I'm trying to vent, I'm going to be given advice instead of someone who is willing to listen.

We can all agree on the fact that when something is wrong, it's hard to tell people. It takes courage and strength and hope to tell someone. This is just a general fact.

It wasn't too long ago where I met up with a few friends and we decided to hang out in one of our houses. They were all chatting and I was laying on the bed about to fall asleep. The next thing I know is that one friend is talking to the other friend about what's been going on. From that, we somehow ended up on the topic of how extroverts have to keep a mask on 24/7. I was sitting on the bed just listening and staying quiet. I had no intention of interrupting them as they vented out their problems. Then they turned towards me. At first, I didn't want to tell them, mostly because I was scared of how they will take the information. Let's just say, I wish I never told them what I'm going through and how I deal with it because I left my friends house feeling worse than I already was.

Let's take two people. Person A is an extrovert and has a problem and Person B is an introvert who also has a problem. Now, when this problem starts affecting both of them, who do you think will be noticed first. It will be Person A. Why? Because when an extrovert becomes quiet it's unusual, so people ask if somethings wrong. This gives Person A a nudge to tell someone what's wrong. Now, let's take to the other side. When Person B becomes quiet, who's going to notice? No one. When we are going through struggles and want someone to see it because it hurts too much to tell, who's going to notice? Not many people. Which makes our struggle to tell others harder, because we don't have that nudge to encourage us to tell someone.

I have my own struggles that I go through, but when people try telling me that it's harder for them, I start to think they don't care.

The point I'm trying to make is that yes, extroverts have problems and I understand that and I really do, but at least people notice when your mask comes off and ask if you're okay. I want to be able to rant to someone without getting advice and lately, that's something that's hard to do.

I'm tired of trying to force people to listen, so I just bottled it up. I want people to understand that just because we are introverts, or quiet or shy, doesn't mean we aren't hurting or in pain. It doesn't mean that we aren't suffering or going through a rough patch. It's just harder for us to tell people. So, keep in mind, whether you are an extrovert or half of both or an introvert, it doesn't mean our problems are the same. Like I said, your most difficult time will not be the same as mine. So once in a while, we someone asks for you to listen, don't fight back, don't compare your problems to theirs, don't try to understand. Just listen. It helps a lot more than you think.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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