In a society that grooms us to find a career path that we can tolerate and is ultimately rooted in achieving the archetypal American Dream and making as much money as possible, even acknowledging that your passion lies elsewhere may prove psychologically challenging. When dealing with more than two people has already set your exhaustion meter to at least a 4/10, this crushing expectation to be financially secure enough to retire by the time you're 23 and stop being so hyperbolic can prove quite debilitating.
Maybe it's because of the plaque hanging by my back door reminding me never to get too busy making a living that I forget to make a life, or maybe it's because I am a frustratingly textbook Aquarius Sun, but I'm done buying into these toxic subliminal games - and you should join me.
The biggest step in building the life you want is setting up the foundation - accepting that it is a terrifying thing to do. When you draw energy from being alone and enjoy keeping your thoughts to yourself, proclaiming your hopes and dreams can seem daunting, even after the fear you might pee a little bit just thinking about it subsides. Being scared is not a sign of weakness - however, letting that fear keep you from pursuing your biggest wish is not the pinnacle of strength, either.
For fear of having been too impersonal and pontifical up until this point, consider this glimpse into the past month. As a sophomore and first year in the Theatre Management BFA program at DePaul, re-experiencing this lack of certainty and onslaught of information is both scary and exhausting. Finally, though, I have taken my next step toward adulthood (yikes) and acknowledged that these feelings are actually healthy! It is my desire for success and knowledge that makes me afraid - if there was nothing at stake, I would have no emotional investment.
At the end of the day, allow yourself to validate your emotions. The path will be rocky and the first steps prior to adjusting will always be the hardest - but your brain isn't getting you to feel this way just for fun - lean into them, and use them to motivate yourself.
