I never thought I would be taking my daughter to meet her grandfather at his grave - six months after I had her. I never thought I'd have to bury my father when I was ten years old. I never thought I'd have to experience this ride without my daddy by my side. No more, "Daddy" or being told I'm overreacting. No more hugs or kisses. He's gone and I cannot go back. I wish that time could reverse itself because there's so many things I'd want to do and so many things I want him to see. I wanted to experience the rest of the world with him by my side. I took my daughter to see his grave, she's six months old.
The moment she reached out and touched his grave was the moment I knew, she knew where she was and who she was seeing. It broke my heart. I want my daughter to know of him, the same way I knew him. I want my daughter to know the stories and the amount of fun we used to have. I want my daughter to have memories with her own father, do things with him like I did my dad.
There will be no more father/daughter days. No more just sitting on the couch and watching the history channel because that was my dad's favorite channel to watch. No more hearing my dad explain to me the 100th time who actually died on the Titanic and every little detail he knew about it. No more hearing his laugh because something was funny or because my brother or I did something funny again. No more hearing him speaking. No more him telling me goodnight. I took my daughter to my father's grave at six months old so she could finally meet my father.
She will, I hope, know who her grandfather is. I hope she will know how much he would of loved her. I never thought I would have to sit there and explain to her where she was. It broke my heart. She knew, but it still broke my heart. She touched his gravestone and it shattered me.
I had to take my daughter to see my dad at six months old to a cemetery.