This week, I was lucky enough to snag an interview with the one and only Steven McKnight. Below is our conversation:
Me: Who was the 4th president of the United States?
Steven McKnight: The 4th president who mattered was Donald J. Duck.
Me: Why is the sky blue?
SM: Because it has daddy issues.
Me: What's my middle name?
SM: Your middle name is Reginald. My middle name is Reginald. Everyone's middle name should be Reginald. All hail Reginald.
Me: What is it about the dark that makes me so afraid?
SM: It's black. You're secretly racist.
Me: Why?
SM: Your parents got frisky one day.
Me: Really, why?
SM: Well, you see, when a man loved a woman very much-
Me: For the love of God, why!?!
SM: I don't know! I'm sorry! Calm down, man!
Me: Have you ever watched a man die?
SM: I watched your face as I made a pun. Does that count?
Me: Have I ever watched a man die?
SM: I always thought you were the sort to be on the receiving end of that.
Me: What is the quadratic formula?
SM: Same as the Krabby Patty secret formula. There really isn’t much of a difference, just one is fried by a piece of shit with an annoying laugh.
Me: Who was the most effective Roman emperor?
SM: Why, Nolan Nightingale, you were.
Me: When Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk, does his shit also grow in size? Otherwise, his human shit would just slide out of his Hulk-sized anus?
SM: According to the esteemed Paige Bowmaster TM, the shit itself is not a part of Bruce Banner's body. That being said, it would not become Hulk-shit. Instead, it will sit there in the bowels. I like to think Hulk's anus is the same size as Bruce's, but I also don't like to think about Hulk's anus more than I need to.
Me: Who are you again?
SM: Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to diet.
Me: Is this supposed to be an interview? Am I doing it right?
SM: I don't know. Is it?
A huge thank you to Steven McKnight for answering my very stupid questions. Read his interview of me on the Odyssey website.
