Clarinetists
They're always thought of as very quiet, reserved, and kind. This is true but at the same time, at any moment they are ready to fight. They are super competitive and they are not afraid to throw you down.
Flutists
Flutes are divas. They will show off any time possible and they know people will listen in awe. They like trills, long walks on the beach, taking pictures in the practice room, and Michael Bolton ballads. They can also smell fear.
Oboists/English Hornists
When they're not worrying about what's happening with their instrument, or what the weather is doing to their reeds, they usually think they're the star of the show. After all... They do give the tuning note.
Bassoonists
They're pretty easy going. They have a lot of patience because they play the farting bedpost. No matter how loud they play, it's hard to hear them. They are surprised if the conductor ever calls on them.
Recorderists?
Wait. What? No. Just.... No.
Saxophonists
Always willing to throw a section party in the middle of rehearsal. There is always that one guy that will play "Careless Whisper." They like making goose noises while they warm up. They're sharper than a knife. They are upset that there isn't more orchestral repertoire that requires saxophone. They also love John Mackey and Eric Whitacre.
Trumpeters
Extremely competitive. They think they are the celebrities of the ensemble. They mostly blow hot air into their instrument. Their idea of a warm up is playing as high and as loud as possible and maybe some long tones if they have time.
Hornists
Fun-spirited and laid back. They enjoy large, brassy horn features in music. Somewhat competitive but, always willing to help a friend out. They get in trouble with the conductor for laughing and talking too much during rehearsal. They also do not enjoy playing marches. Do not call their instrument a 'French horn' or they will give you a long history lesson and tell you it's actually German. Just call it a horn.
Trombonists
They make fart noises with their instruments and laugh. They usually wave to the horn section from across the ensemble. They get excited whenever a piece calls for a glissando. When they see fortissimo they are ready to blow the ensemble and the audience away.
Tubists
They're always happy. They also laugh when the trombones makes fart noises with their instruments. They enjoy being the "oom" to the horn players' "pah". Sometimes they nap during their 200 measure tacet.
Percussionists
Very fun people. They're good at subdividing and counting rests. They have so many mallets they're not sure if they've used the some one twice.They're channeling all of their anger into their instruments, that's why they're so carefree.
Violinists
They are very competitive and cut throat. Much like trumpets, they will play their highest notes to show off to others. When they take pictures of their music to post to Instagram, they make sure it's at the most complicated part of the piece.
Violists
They're usually forgotten and/or never heard. They're tired of their instrument being mistaken for a violin. They try their best but they still can't play in tune. Probably some of the sweetest people you'll ever meet.
Cellists
They try to steal to spotlight from the violins but, they're sounds so low it's hard to hear. They're most likely petitioning to change the name from violincello to just cello. Usually seen scowling at the violins.
Bassists
Very laid back. Sometimes will take a nap in their bass case whenever they're not playing. They go with the flow. They will play the "Jaws" theme whenever given the chance.
