Explicit warning: This isn't your Ed Sheeran type of lyrics. If you're a hard bitch that don't live with ya momma (no offense), here are some killer captions for you.
What kind of pictures should you use these for? A killer party group pic or selfie. When you are looking like a rap goddess, or when your crush finally followed you back. Get it, girl!
Whether you know where your physical shiny Gold Card is that you were sent in the mail (mine is happily in my wallet) or you simply see the Gold Card on the Starbucks app, your Gold Card symbolizes your membership status with Starbucks. My Gold Card status is good through the end of 2017. Naturally, we addicts have no problem maintaining Gold status each year since we have around a drink a day.
From mobile ordering to finding a Starbucks that’s open past 9 p.m., the Starbucks app has got your back. The app is basically an addict's best friend. It holds my Gold Card in it with my balance, all of my Star Rewards, coupons and the power to mobile order. Without it, how would we be able to find a Starbucks to get a late night Chai tea latte at 9:30 p.m.? With the mobile app, I've got the power of Starbucks coffee at my fingertips.
Early morning? Don’t want to sit in the drive through line? We addicts know that the mobile ordering is the solution. All I have to do is go to the order tab on the app and right at the top is my usual drink, grande iced Caffe Americano. I simply click "order," leave my house, grab my drink off the counter, and head off to work. The glares I get as I walk past the line of people waiting to order or receive their drinks are unreal, but what can I say, I’m smart and order ahead.
Each one of the baristas knows you by name when you walk into the store. Now some of the drive-thrus even have cameras in them and when you pull up they see your face and say “Hey girl! Want your usual *insert drink here*?” Having the baristas as your friends is a perk, you know them, they know you, and most importantly, they know exactly how to make your drink perfectly.
Well, I average two a day so maybe I’m a super addict. A girl’s got to have her espresso in the morning and tea in the afternoon though, right? Most addicts will have to start their mornings out with a coffee or whatever their drink of choice is. If we addicts miss our morning caffeine, we will most likely be grumpy and the best thing to do is get us some caffeine ASAP.
During this past finals week I managed to drink 12 shots of espresso in a five-hour period. Granted, I did start shaking around 8, I downed them like a champ and proceeded to write two papers and take an online exam. Caffeine = productivity.
*Sigh* Non-addicts -- they just don’t understand an addict's need for a delicious cup of Starbucks everyday. It’s basically a necessity in our lives and there’s often criticism from those who don’t believe in caffeine or even worse, they prefer Dunkin' Donuts coffee over Starbucks. Some people tell me that I don't need my Starbucks everyday but caffeine isn't an optional, it's necessary.
At this point, everyone around me has realized I’m an addict and while there has been attempts to intervene and halt my addiction, all attempts have failed. I’m a proud Starbucks addict who enjoys their finer coffee. So fellow addicts, keep on drinking Starbucks and block the haters out over a nice hot cup of Starbucks.
