As someone with depression and anxiety issues, I have had my fair share of insomnia. I experienced it for the first time a little over a year ago when I transferred schools and had a bunch of big life changes. I was two hours away from my family, I didn't know anyone at my new school, and was one of the most stressful time I had ever been in. I felt like a freshman again; big fish, small pond kind of thing.

I had moved into the dorms on campus so that I could be better acclimated to the way of life on campus, and I was desperate for friends at that point. What I didn't realize at the time was how big the age gap would be between eighteen-year-old freshmen students and me, twenty-one and actually serious about school. I was a very big opponent to the whole "Oh, eighteen-year-olds are very immature,"but now I am very much on that side. I lived with absolute children for a quarter of school, constantly partying and making loud noises all the time. It was hard to study, much less sleep.

Now we get to the problem of sleeping.

It started with being awake until 1:00 am, which was a new late for me. I would toss and turn the whole night, panicking when setting a new rhythm with my heartbeat. I didn't understand what was happening at the time. I didn't feel tired and the more I laid in bed, the more I felt like I was losing control of my own life.

3:00 am: I'm pacing my room trying to walk myself into the sandman's arms.

5:00 am: Panic is my new heart rate. I accept the fact that I can't sleep, maybe I'll try in an hour.

7:00 am: I see light outside my window and the feeling of light leaves my eyes knowing that I lost my chance to sleep for the night.

I get ready for class on these days and I just feel as though I'm numb to all things; the weather, the people, my classes, and even other people's voices.

My insomnia problems were affecting so much more than my sleep without even realizing it. My mood, appetite, mental health, and the way that I presented myself were all being affected. My work ethic in both school and my job were slipping, my grades and the ability to produce quality coffee was proof of that.

Fast forward a year later, and insomnia is still ever present in my life. Taking a melatonin tablet every night helps, but the nights where I don't take it or forget to are still nights that I struggle with sleeping. I am back to where I was a year ago and I still have insomnia problems.

There will be a week at a time that is like my problems from last year. But, I am better equipped to handle it and can keep it under control when possible. Coffee was a good part of it with the occasional whiff of lavender essential oils, but there are actual ways to help. Getting good physical activity, eating right, and general self-care tips are what is working best for me.

It makes it more of a battle that I'm winning, rather than one I'm struggling with that I am losing.