You know what's great about having guys in your life who also happen to be some of your closest friends? Getting to ask them questions you've always wondered about them, of course! As a result of my own curiosity for wanting to understand how guys think, the following is a list of 10 questions that I chose to ask a very good guy friend of mine who also ended up giving me the most thoughtful responses! To see if he answered yours, simply keep on reading!
1. "Would you think a woman was less attractive if she asked you out first?"
A: "I actually really like it, especially since I happen to be pretty shy and will be more hesitant to initiate anything with her as a result."
2. "I've given this guy plenty of hints that I want him to ask me out. Why doesn't he just make a move already?!"
A: "Unfortunately, guys don't understand hints too well. We're very dense when it comes to noticing interest like that and pass it off as friendliness most of the time."
3. "So then, if we like a guy, what are some effective ways to get him to reciprocate the feeling?"
A: "Talking to and getting to know him would be a good starting point. But like I was saying, we're very dense when it comes to noticing interest like that and pass it off as friendliness most of the time. So when a girl feels comfortable enough, she should be as obvious as she can that she's interested. From there it just depends on the type of guy, because while introverts like me prefer being approached, there are some really prideful guys out there who prefer the challenge of doing things themselves."
4. "Do most guys prefer girls with makeup or little to no makeup? Why?"
A: "That one's very subjective, but I personally prefer girls who wear a little makeup and I'm a bit turned off by overly showy amounts like when at fancy events and stuff. On the other hand, I know plenty of guys who love that. There are also guys who just like no makeup at all because it looks more natural. Overall, just be you and put on what you normally wear, because that comes across as more confident and straightforward in my opinion."
5. "I can't tell if this guy likes me or not. What should I do?"
A: "Honestly, just go for it and ask him out. If he doesn't react positively to the offer, then it just wasn't meant to be."
6. "Do guys think about girls and/or talk about them in their conversations? If so, what do they say?"
A: "Oh, for sure. The content of that conversation generally depends on the kinds of guys who are talking together or the setting they're in. For example, groups with more bros in it tend to have conversations about pretty crass or sexual stuff. In general, though, most groups of guys tend to talk about their experiences with relationships (whether they have any or not) or about what they'd ideally want either from the relationship they're currently in or a relationship that they're looking to have. I imagine it's probably not terribly different from what girls talk about, but mostly just some small differences in approach and stuff."
7. "Why do some guys fear commitment so much?"Â
A: "I don't know if that's necessarily a guy only trait in my experience, but commitment can definitely be really scary. I know a lot of people (especially in our modern hookup culture) who want more of a sexual or physical relationship with others because it's easy and doesn't require as much effort. If these questions are an indication of anything, it's that getting to know people is scary, and a lot of people are content on their own just only ever having one night stands or quick flings.
Not only that, but a relationship means opening yourself up to people you may or may not feel that comfortable around. And that, especially for guys who are usually taught to suppress their emotions in this kind of society, is a bit counter-intuitive to how people act around mostly everyone in their lives. A lot of people are also just scared of falling flat on their face and wasting time on someone who won't work for them."
8. "What are some qualities of a girl that help to show you she's confident in herself?"Â
"This can be a bit touchy since there are a lot of guys who don't want to be out over-confidenced by a girl (and this is also a good red flag for most girls to look out for). For the most part, though, just taking the initiative on various things like asking someone out, wearing what you feel comfortable in, having natural and comfortable conversations, and, if you get nervous, hiding it to the best of your ability. Those are just mainly some examples and not necessarily things that all girls need to do, besides I'd say the last one."
9. "If a girl likes one of the first posts you shared on Facebook or Instagram, what's your immediate reaction of her?"Â
A: "Definitely don't go back and like old stuff (especially if it was posted before the two of you became friends on whatever platform), because that comes across as stalking and is a big no-no for any gender in my opinion. Especially if it's on accident, it gets kinda awkward. As for liking stuff that the guy posts after adding you, I'd say just go with your gut. If you do it too much or feel like you're being a bit overbearing then trust that feeling."
10. "If there is anything else you wish girls would understand about guys, what would it be?"Â
"That's going to be pretty subjective and for me, it relates to what I was saying earlier about us being dense. If more women understood this and were more straightforward about their interest (at least in our eyes), there would be a lot less confusion and miscommunication. Like if a girl thinks she's being obvious enough, still be more obvious. Also in line with that, I remembered this video exists (it's really overly exaggerated but basically sums it up").