Growing up the word “gay” was thrown around very loosely and used as a negative term by my friends as well as myself. I almost feel like I was raised to not accept the fact that “being gay” is okay. It is a weird concept to think about but it should not be looked at like that. Society made it this way, society put it in our heads that it is not acceptable. But it is acceptable and that is something society needs to learn to realize as a whole.

I recently sat down and had a very captivating conversation with a gentleman in his late-thirties, early-forties. It came up in conversation that his mother is gay, I was shocked to hear it at first because I was not expecting to learn that about his family. But what stunned me even more is the fact that he had only known me for a year and felt comfortable enough to confide in me with that information yet his wife and daughter do not know. It did not make sense to me. He kept trying to justify the situation by saying “They have to know, my mother lives with her partner. It just has never been talked about or confirmed.” It took me some time to wrap my head around that but I still felt the need to dig deeper and find out what exactly it was that he was so afraid of. He finally admitted, “I don’t think my wife will care, but her family will.” I understood and I felt sorry that he was stuck in that situation but I also explained to him that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

Being able to accept something that was illegal for centuries does not and will not come easily to people. It did not come easily to me either but I had to learn to accept it. My parents getting divorced when I was 15 years old was not an easy transition, especially since I had lost my relationship with my mother in the process of it. But what made it even harder was finding out my dad is gay a year later. I was devastated, confused, sad, embarrassed, scared, I almost feel like I felt betrayed. My father and I had never talked about it, I actually found out on accident. I was seeing a therapist at the time who was helping me through my mother's condition. When I went in for my next session with that new information, I broke down in tears and somehow managed to get out, “My dad is gay!” I still remember that moment like it was only a few months ago, I can still feel the pain I felt in that room. My therapist looked at me and said, “So, what is wrong with that? He’s single, he can do what he wants.” My response was, “Everything is wrong with that! It’s unacceptable.” After calming down and talking it through with her, I really could not name one thing that was wrong. I had no defense for what is not okay about liking the same gender.

It took a lot of time and a lot of therapy but I finally came to the realization that my father is still my father and he still loves me unconditionally. He will always put his daughter's first and if roles were reversed I would want him to accept my choices too. I realized that it is not fair to him, it’s already hard enough for him to feel like his friends and family would not accept him.

So, one beautiful evening out on the balcony, my father and I shared a memory together that I will never forget, one that will stay in my heart forever. As we’re watching the breathtaking sunset that we were blessed to see every day, dad was enjoying his glass of red wine and I was contemplating the next words to come out of my mouth. I turned to my caring, charismatic, amazing father and said, “Dad, I have a question.” After his expected response, I casually asked, “So how long have you known you were gay?” With complete acceptance and honesty, we finally had the talk.

A few years had gone by and although I had come to accept my father’s sexuality, I was afraid my friends would not. Slowly, one by one I told my closest friends and every single one of them were very supportive, they loved my father anyways, who cares if he likes guys or not. I had not gotten around to telling my guy friends yet because I knew that guys were more "homophobic." One night, a close friend of mine at the time drove me home and we sat in his car and talked, I for some reason felt comfortable enough to open up about my father. He accepted what I told him but he also pointed out that I may still not have fully accepted the fact myself since I still felt the fear to tell my friends. I tried arguing that theory but realized that he had a valid point.

Soon enough, all my guy friends knew and not one of them cared. I was afraid of nothing and to come to think about it, I held myself back from telling anyone because I felt that if they did not accept my Father, then that means they did not accept me. Every single one of my girl and guy best friends absolutely love and respect my father for exactly who he is. They feel they can look up to him, they’re inspired by him and in general they think my father is “The man.”

And now when I tell people my father’s engaged and they ask me if I like her, my response is “Him? Yes, he and I are very close. He makes my father happy and that is all that matters to me.” Some of the reactions and faces I get are priceless. Then when I am asked if my eleven year old sister knows, my response is, "Absolutely. She even came up with nicknames for them, 'Famy' meaning father-mommy and 'Co-Pa' meaning Co Parent." I am proud that my father exposed her to the unfamiliar truth at a young age because she can then educate her younger friends on the truth as well, “Gay people are awesome.” For the people who were not accepting of gay equality but knew about my father's character, well, they did not have anything to say when they found out. It is because they already know that he and I are very close, they know that he is a successful, honest, caring person. So what difference does it make if he likes men or women? That is who he is attracted to, just like some Caucasian men are attracted to Black women, Asian women, Latin women or vice versa, who cares? It does not make a difference. People are who they are and their sexuality does not and absolutely should not change a single thing about people's opinions of them or their character. It only changes the fact that I have to tell my friend's mothers that my dad is gay when they ask if he is single and their response every time, “Of course he is, the attractive, single, successful, smart and nice ones are always gay.”

I love you daddy and I am proud of who you are and I look up to you every single day. You are forever my rock and the most phenomenal person I know and I hope I to be half the person you are one day. I am who I am today because of you and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. You taught me to always love, understand, respect and care for others but most of all, you taught me to love and embrace myself no matter what.