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Why [Insert Candidate Here] Should Be President

Sometimes you need to consider both sides.

Hannah Mason

Aug 15, 2016

Lipscomb University

Why [Insert Candidate Here] Should Be President

Northwest Liberty News

You must be ridiculously uninformed to vote for Trump.

You must be ridiculously uniformed to vote for Hillary.

Trump has told lie after lie!

Hillary has told lie after lie!

Trump claimed that the real unemployment rate was 42 percent, when it was really significantly lower.

Hillary said that she neither sent nor received classified information on her email server. It later came out that she had done just that, and put lives in danger while she was at it.

Trump stood by his statement that there was cheering from the side of New Jersey with a heavy Arab population at 9/11, but that claim was debunked by Jersey City Mayor Steven Fulop and local police.

Hillary claimed that the Benghazi attack was retaliation for an anti-Muhammad video. However, she later told Hisham Qandil that she knew the attack had nothing to do with the video, but failed to tell the American public.

Trump retweeted wildly inaccurate statistics saying that 81 percent of homicides with white victims were committed by black people. The FBI lists this number closer to 15 percent.

Hillary claimed she landed under fire in Bosnia. She didn’t.

Trump truly cares about the American people!

Hillary truly cares about the American people!

Trump has actually created 34,000 jobs for the American people, instead of making empty promises.

Hillary went to work for Edelman’s Children’s Defense Fund after graduating from Yale because she cared about the children of America, even though she could have potentially had a higher paying job elsewhere.

Trump is a phony conservative!

Hillary is a phony liberal!

Trump has spoken out in favor of abortion in an interview with the late Tim Russert.

Hillary has stated that she thinks “marriage is as a marriage has always been, between a man and a woman,” and has rejected the idea of same-sex marriages in favor of a civil union.

Trump is the clear option for the 2016 presidential election!

Hillary is the clear option for the 2016 presidential election!

Trump 2016! Make America great again!

Hillary for America! I'm with her!

Sometimes we only consider one side, the side we believe. We ignore and ridicule the other side and the people who believe that way. It's important to hear both sides, and to consider why people might believe differently than you. It's how we learn new things.

*disclaimer: this article is not being offered up for the truth of the matter, but rather to showcase what the opposing sides are thinking.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Why [Insert Candidate Here] Should Be President

Sometimes you need to consider both sides.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!