Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "How could eating possibly get more fun?" The answer to that, kids, is the same way you make anything more fun: alcohol. I've complied a list of the Internet's finest. You're welcome.
1. Beer Potato Chips
Burt's Guinness Original Thick Cut Potato Chips, $6.50, available at TalDepot.
Want to feel super manly? Just eat these chips while watching football/Nascar/monster truck rallies. These things are so good you might just try to shotgun the entire bag. The only thing cooler than crushing a couple beer cans on your head is crushing an entire bag of these chips in less than the amount of time it takes you to bring up your lifted F150 in conversation.
2. Rosé Chocolate
Compartés Roses & Rosé Chocolate Bar, $9.95, available at Compartés.
Whether you recently got dumped or are just straight up basic, this chocolate is the perfect way to eat your alcohol. It's even decked out in edible crystallized rose petals, so I can imagine it's probably the equivalent of eating a super sugary Lush bath bomb. You can buy it on the Compartés website, which suggests you pair it with none other than Rosé (shocking).
3. Rum Cake
Tortuga Original Caribbean Rum Cake, $24.95, available at Tortuga Rum Cakes.
If you've ever been on a cruise, you've probably tasted a Tortuga Rum Cake or even been to the factory itself. While this is a total tourist move, the cakes are too good to pass up. If you can't find your way to a duty free store, don't worry, you can get these at Tortuga's online store, which features not only a whole assortment of rum flavored treats but hundreds of interesting facts like this one:
4. Champagne Bears
Sugarfina Champagne Bears® Candy Cubes (Set of 6), $48, available at Nordstrom.
Super trendy and a definite upgrade from the Vodka soaked gummy bears you made in high school, these sold-out-everywhere candies are infused with Dom Perignon and pretentiousness. Cosmopolitan magazine says these candies have "the perfect party flavor," which is funny because this whole time I thought the perfect party flavor was a combination of warm Natty Light and Vodka out of a plastic handle with Kevin Gates playing in the background.
5. Tequila Filled Chocolates
Jose Cuervo Tequila Liquor Filled Chocolates: 20-Piece Tube, $10, available at Candy Warehouse.
Decidedly a step down from Dom infused gummies, this ten-dollar-a-bag treat honestly sounds barely edible. Seriously, the combination of tequila and chocolate is less than appealing. Luckily, candywarehouse.com has no shortage of reviews on this product, including this glowing endorsement:
"Friends that I didn't know what else to get." AKA "those b*tches from PTA that I hate."
6. Alcoholic Ice Cream
Okay, this is really cool. Not only are these pints booze infused, but completely customizable as well. The website suggests making them say cute things like "be my bridesmaid" but I feel like this would honestly be a great way to dump someone. Receiving a pint of alcoholic ice cream that says "it's not me, it's you" is a great way to let someone down easy if you ask me. If you don't have any dumping to do in the near future, however, I would recommend trying the Birthday Party Pack, which includes three pints in flavors like "Cake Batter Vodka Martini," "Dark Chocolate Whiskey Salted Caramel" and "Spiked Hazelnut Coffee."
Tipsy Scoop Birthday Party Pack, $36, available at Tipsy Scoop.
7. Alcoholic Mini Cupcakes.
Prohibition Bakery, $92 for two dozen & shipping within the US, available at Prohibition.
New York City really has the right idea here. Prohibition Bakery raises the bar (lol) on your typical cupcake, rolling out mini cupcakes in flavors like "Beer and Pretzels" and "Old Fashioned," but I think the "Margarita" flavor really takes the cake (sorry). The bakery even infuses the cupcakes with alcohol after they're out of the oven so it doesn't bake out, proving Prohibition really has their priorities straight. Just in case you can't make the trip out to NYC, you can still order these cupcakes, which ship to anywhere within the continental US. The shipping is a little pricey, but as the Prohibition website says: "Given that we are not responsible for international gas prices, if you have an issue with the cost of shipping, please take it up with the oil folks in those big white buildings in Washington D.C. Let us know how that goes."
While everyone may have their different preferences on eating their alc, we can all agree that these snacks definitely that put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic."
