According to the Myer-Briggs system of personalities, there are sixteen possible categories that you could fall under if you were to take the test. The most rare acronym you can get is INFJ, which stand for (I)ntroversion, I(N)tuition, (F)eeling, and (J)udgment. The people who get this personality type only make up less than one percent of the population – they are unique, special snowflakes and are often misunderstood due to their rarity (not many of them exist, therefore not many people know how to deal with them).
Because there are so few INFJs in the world, they pretty much all share some common, general traits (not to generalize people, but most INFJ memes and posts are pretty darn relatable). First off, they tend to need to make a difference in the world – Oprah, Nelson Mandela, and MLK Jr. are all INFJ types (also Adam Sandler, go figure). They tend to be friendly and personable, but also introverted, making them extremely different from the other introverted categories. They are really introspective, meaning they criticize themselves often and overthink small situations, beating themselves up over things that actually didn’t pan out as badly as they perceive. INFJs are prone to burning out and stress because they put others first and don’t leave time to take care of themselves, but are thought to be empathetic and passionate by others. All INFJ are hardworkers and busybodies – pros at multitasking and busting out a lot of work in one sitting (which can also lead to burnout). Statistically, they are among the most likely to stay in college, most likely to seek therapy for INFJ-related stress, and are the highest personality type in regard to marital dissatisfaction (this is caused by a non-INFJ partner misunderstanding their quirks and needs).
INFJ’s are easy to spot as they are often misunderstood as being creepy, moody, judgmental, or strange. They are a perfectionistic group and when their visions don’t come together as planned they have a tendency to mentally snap. When an INFJ does open up their feelings, they will usually apologize for it (and for selfishly focusing on themselves for a moment). Word vomit and stumbling through conversations is common for them but as soon as pen hits paper they become articulate, linguistic wizards. PRO TIP (this doesn’t just apply to INFJs): if you’re having a hard time saying something to someone or yourself, write a letter or an email – even therapists suggest this as it can really help you articulate actual words and help you get everything that’s bottled up, out (take this from someone who cries at every hint of confrontation).
Statistically, INFJs are most likely to be extremely ethical about questionable situations, which means they have exceptional integrity. Though they would never compromise their personal values, they know that everyone has individual needs and will treat people based on their own personality. INFJS are afraid of the unknown and the future and as a result, find it difficult to stay focused on the present moment. They can be way too hard on themselves and tend to take criticism to heart, which can obviously effect self-esteem and the amount in which they focus on other people versus themselves.
Since INFJs are die-hard-people-pleasers, they will probably never tell you when something’s annoying them, although there are some sure-fire ways to get under their skin. You can dismiss their feelings or opinions, making all of their introspection obsolete (then they will also forever question whether or not they actually felt that feeling in the first place). If you’re fake or superficial, INFJs will see right through it – even though they’re people pleasers, they’re smart enough to know who to spend their time on. If you force them to do something they don’t want to without a good enough reason, not only will it come off as manipulative to them, but you will also be inadvertently disregarding their feelings on the matter. INFJs also need time to think and make decisions and rushing them or seemingly not giving them an option will stress them out.
If you are lucky enough to have an INFJ in your life, there are certain things to keep in mind when trying to keep these sensitive creatures happy. You can tell them that you’re in love with their intelligence and skills – INFJs put a lot of work into their brains and like to know their hard work is appreciated. If they say that they want to be alone, it’s important to respect them – INFJs have a hard time figuring out what they’re feeling sometimes (regardless of how introspective they are) and sometimes it’s just best for them to get out of an overwhelming situation. This can lead to excuses and lies about why they want to stay inside instead of going to a party for example. In situations like this you can encourage them to not lie because you actually understand and respect their feelings. If this happens at a social event or in public, take their hand and tell them that it’s okay if they leave – or encourage them to take a break so they can start fresh again in a few minutes.
INFJs tend to feel overwhelmed by emotions (I mentioned how they can’t always place exactly what they’re feeling at certain moments) and this is another factor that can lead to burning out quickly. Even though they are mostly introspective (which we have established doesn’t always work) they are also creepily observant of others and of things that people don’t typically notice – they are the people-watchers or the world. Constantly analyzing themselves and others leads to emotional exhaustion and shutdown. INFJs are super sensitive (also the criers of the world) and because they are rare flowers they can feel left out and like their feelings are always brushed aside out of misunderstanding. A huge problem for this personality type is the fact that in order to fit in they mimic more common personalities and often lose themselves in the process.
You can take the test for free here, though it’s not the official website, which is here and is full of all the information you need once you know your type.
