The meaning of being a woman, is different for each and every person that identifies themselves as a woman, not for anyone else, (i.e. men.)

When I was 9-years-old, to me being a “woman” meant flipping through the pamphlets of “How to Handle Your First Menstrual Period!” and learning about the female body in the least detailed way as possible.

I was a rather stressed 9-year-old and thought that getting my period and the devastating cramps that accompanied it, would be the end of the world.

As I blew out the candles on my thirteenth birthday, I felt that I was not womanly enough since I lacked the curves all the woman in my family had.

I thought having a voluptuous body meant that you were a woman through and through.

When I hit high school, and was finally 15, my body was not one of my main concerns, however my mindset was.

Every girl that I encountered seemed to be loving, and vulnerable, and I envied them. I don’t want to use the typical scapegoat: society. However, growing up society and movies, taught me that girls were supposed to be overtly emotional around the clock, emotions were supposed to come easy to girls.

That wasn’t the case for me, so add that on to the fact that I didn’t feel that I had the body of a woman, my self-esteem wasn’t low, but it wasn’t high.

Two years later, I turned 17 and body positivity and different portrayals of women were the hot topics of 2015. 2015 taught me that you didn’t have to be model thin and that if you were, there was nothing wrong with that. I never thought that there was a problem with women that wore larger sizes, I was just glad that society had finally caught up with my mindset.

It’s 2017 now, and my world has drastically changed, especially in the last three months.

I’m 19, and I’ve come to realize that there is no definite answer to: What Does It Mean to Be a Woman.

Every girl will give you a different answer, whether they’re 5, a 13-year-old transgender woman, or a woman born in the 1930s. Obviously, there will be disagreements over the answers, but that’s the point of being a woman.

We are beautiful, complex and unique creatures, there could never be a set definition for a woman.

I, as a 19-year-old Angolan-American woman, born and raised in the United States all my life, view being a woman as accepting yourself as you are. As cliché as that sounds.

Being a woman right now, to me Beatriz da Costa, means standing up for your rights, realizing your worth and how much you have to bring to this world. It means thoroughly understanding that we are equal to men, not more and especially not less. Women are equals in this world and deserve to be treated as such.

Women around the world have different opinions of what it means to be a woman. For example, my 18-year-old cousin, Rosana, who has split her time living in Angola, Portugal and Brazil sees being a woman as, fighting for your rights. She thinks being a woman means fighting against the mold society has placed on us, it especially means being able to walk down dark roads, safely.

To my freshman suitemate, Cassidy, who has lived in New York all her life, being a woman means setting a different standard and empowering other women to be different. She wants women to embrace who they are and fight the stereotypes society has placed on us. “It doesn’t matter if we can cook or clean, it doesn’t matter what we want to do with our life if that means being a pro-fighter or a stay-at-home mom. We’re all women and we deserve to do what we want to do.”

Cassidy, Rosana and I have similar meanings of what it means to be a woman. So, I had to ask the one person I admire above all, my mom.

What does it mean to be a woman, to my mom?

“To be a woman is to be strong.”