Hey everyone! My name is Lyndsey and I am married to an amazing man, Nathan. I was diagnosed with PCOS 2 year ago. Unfortunately many women struggle with PCOS, as well as the effects that come with it. I have been struggling with infertility the past two years. Nathan and I have been trying to have kids for two years and we have had no luck. It's been really hard, and now it's the holidays. I have to put on a fake smile while everyone has their kids during the holidays.
People don't really understand the pain we go through. We always hear "we know exactly what you are going through".. No, NO you DON'T! You have kids and are able to have children. Just because it took you a few tries to have kids does not mean you know what we are going through. You don't know what its like to have MANY, MANY negative pregnancy tests.
Here are a few things you should think about when you are talking to people that are struggling with infertility:
- DON'T tell them you know what they are going through , unless you do know what they are going through. That is one thing people really hate!
- DON'T tell them to 'just relax'. That is another thing that people hate hearing. Its not easy to relax when you are very depressed from not being able to have children.
- Please DON'T say "there are worse things that could happen". Why are you the one that gets to decide what's bad?
- DON'T minimize the problem. We absolutely hate hearing "now you guys have time to travel" and "at least you can go out". We DON'T want to be able to travel, we DON'T want to be able to go out. What we want so DESPERATELY is to be able to complete our family with a child.
There are some things that you can do to help:
- Research infertility so you know what your friend/family is going through.
- Remember them on holidays. You may not think holidays are hard for them, but its harder than you know.
- Be interested in what they are telling you. Don't just allow it to go in one ear and out the other. Really listen to how they are feeling and what they are saying.
- Tell them about your pregnancies!! One thing that annoys people is when they are left out of the loop. We have infertility, not leprosy.
Lastly always be there for each other. You may be fighting a battle, but so is the person next to you. Your battle is no harder than the next person. Everyone is dealing with a different battle. Always be kind. Always think about others.
<3 Lyndsey
