I just watched the latest episode of the Bachelorette, and I can't tell you how much I despise that show. I don't like it because it's based on infatuation and not love. Now, I am currently single, but I bet all my other single pringles can agree with me when I say that we know the difference between the two. Honestly, it's very simple.

Infatuation is based on looks and a feeling. Boo might look cute and say things that make you feel good but looks fade and feelings change. The outside doesn't always correctly represent the inside. You can't tell if an apple is bruised by looking at the outside. It's only when you cut it open that you see the truth. Also, appearance changes the same way feelings do. Ever heard the saying "a roller coaster of emotions?" That's because our emotions are all over the place. Some women can't predict how we'll feel in a hour, much less in a few years. The problem with infatuation is that it feels like love.

Now, let's define love. “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” True love is lasting. It's based on Jesus and his people. It's sacrificial. It's not a give and take; it's just a give. It's based on what you know about a person: is he/she patient, kind, humble, well-tempered, forgiving, honest, resilient, faithful, hopeful, and enduring?

I truly believe that you should prepare for a relationship long before you're in one. Even if you currently have a significant other, you should still learn how to be in love. So, I've compiled a list of tips to help you avoid infatuation and pursue a relationship built on love.

1. Remember that the goal isn't marriage.

I know for a fact that marriage and finding "the one" is something that people look forward to, but for some, this becomes their identity. Marriage isn't the end goal; Jesus is. Life keeps going after marriage and you need to be prepared for it as well as a relationship.

2. Realize that you're already in a committed relationship.

For this point, I'm assuming that you are a Christian, and even if you're not, this still applies to you. God dated you. He loved you before you loved Him. He tried to impress you with His power. Then He proposed with Jesus. He didn't offer a diamond ring but the rings in His hands. The moment you became saved was your "I do." Realize that before you cultivate a relationship with another person, you should cultivate the one you already have with God.

3. Learn what the model for marriage is.

God's model for marriage is Jesus and his bride, the church. The world's perception of "relationship goals" looks like Jay-Z and Beyonce's relationship, but that didn't even work out. The real "goals" are Jesus and the church. He has never once cheated on us or been dishonest. He's faithful and willing to sacrifice anything to be near to us.

4. Women wait. Men pursue.

I read a devotion awhile back by Lisa Anderson, and she made a valid point about who should ask who out first. Traditionally, the man asks the woman out. Women are known for being the ones who want a relationship. Men are known for being the ones who don't want to be tied down. Two forms of obedience to God are waiting for something you deeply desire and pursing something He says to. Women, waiting for the one God has is obedience. It would be easy for us to jump the gun and get what we want, but waiting patiently and expectantly is a sign of trust in God's desires for us. Men, if God is drawing you to that girl, then go talk to her. Risking rejection to do His will is part of obedience.

5. Don't settle.

First of all, what are your standards? Any other standard besides Jesus is incorrect. If this is something you struggle with, ask God to set your standards for you. Stop waiting for your Boaz, and look for someone who looks like Jesus. Settling is a clear sign of infatuation.

6. Understand that singleness is a gift.

You can do things for the Kingdom that married people can't. Married people can do things for the Kingdom that you can't. You have a purpose as a single person. If you're still on your own, then your testimony as a single is still being written.

7. Know that your desire for a relationship isn't a sin.

God is relational. We were created as relational beings. This desire isn't something to beat yourself up about. It's a healthy and valid desire. Dating isn't a sin, but we do have to be intentional about it. "Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn't yours." Jeff Bethke summed it up perfectly in this quote. Dating isn't wrong, but our intentions behind it can be.

8. Trust in God's timing.

Singles hate this one, but we need to keep reminding ourselves. I bet you can think of at least one reason why you couldn't have a healthy relationship at this current time in your life. It might be school, family, work, or big life changes. If you began dating someone right now, would you be in a mindset of relation or be caught up in other responsibilities. Even if you can't see these reasons, God has them. He has a love story mapped out for you, and you have to trust in that. It's worth the wait.

9. Pray for your person.

Keep him or her in mind and pray for his or her day. Pray that in whatever storm they're in that they're holding onto God. Before we even know it, God will be pursuing us. There is no reason we shouldn't begin pursing our future spouses right now.

10. Don't think that you have God figured out.

A couple people have told me about how they became "content" and days later they met their current boyfriend/girlfriend. Stop trying to be content so that you will get Bae faster. You're in for a surprise if you think that's the only way God works. He works in higher ways than our minds can comprehend. He doesn't use a cookie cutter to create us. He crafts each one of our testimonies to a specialized perfection.