My life has been defined by big changes, but in reality, I'm not really a fan of it.
I've been hopping around different countries since I was 4 years old, so being dropped into new environments and seeing friends come and go is something I'm used to.
But when it comes to personal decisions that carry even the slightest edge of risk, I begin to overthink the pros and cons, working myself into a ball of anxiety.
I panicked the minute I officially switched my major from English to journalism. I was overcome by guilt when I dropped out of my school's honors program. I almost didn't interview for an editorial position I wanted because I wasn't sure if I was qualified for it.
Thankfully, all those situations turned out for the best. But other than being happy stories, it offers some unpleasant (and hopefully relatable) insight into my personality
I second-guess myself a lot because I'd rather be comfortable than progressive, and it's something I have to fight against every day.
As I grow older, the inevitability of change is a reality that becomes increasingly fearful because it starts holding more weight, more responsibility. The answers to life shift from multiple choice to choose-your-own-adventure, and it's as exciting as it is frustrating.
Nevertheless, I have faith that I'm being led in the right direction. I want to take risks and continue challenging myself. I want to mess up and learn from my mistakes.
I don't know if the decisions I'm making now are right or wrong. I just know that they're a step forward, so forward I shall go.