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Really Hillary- Indianoplace?

a letter to Hillary Clinton

Abigail Gibbons

Oct 07, 2015

Butler University

So Hillary,

We get it, you aren't the first person to insult the Midwestern city of Indianapolis. But really, you call it "Indiana-no-place?"

Yes. That face accurately describes our reaction.

Actually, more specifically you referred to the city in an email to an aide in 2010 as the "basketball-crazed Indianoplace city." Alright, so we understand this statement was made five years ago, and opinions can change. Not to mention, you did get the basketball crazed part right. However, you still need to learn why one of the largest growing midwestern cities is a lot more of a someplace, than a no place. Let us tell you why Indiana has a lot more to offer then just basketball and corn fields.

Indy has hosted multiple Final Four tournaments, Super Bowl championships, is home to the Pacers, the Colts, the Indianapolis 500, the NCAA national headquarters and many other sports teams. You might as well consider Indianapolis a sports-crazed city in general, not just basketball. Secondly, I would say the city has a lot more to offer than just sports. How about a growing downtown packed with nightlife, arts, parks and cultural trails.

Take a stroll on the Canal downtown! It's not just cornfields in Indiana. Don't worry, you're not the first one who is shocked by this news.

A concert at White River State Park? Anyone?

Alright we understand, you hate the outdoors. So, how about a Colts game at Lucas Oil? Or if you're more the basketball type, watch the Pacers at Bankerslife Fieldhouse.

You trying to turn up with your gals? Hills, we got you covered.

Check out Howl at the Moon downtown, (they have dollar beers on Thursdays for college students, whip out that old college ID and no one will notice!)

Or come visit us Butler students in Broad Ripple at one of our personal favorites, Brothers. If you don't like this one, no need to fear because Broad Ripple Avenue is home to a strip of fun bars and restaurants.

Long story short, there is a lot more to Indy then just basketball. If these options don't suit your fancy, visit http://www.visitindy.com to learn more about the fun things to do in the growing urban city of Indianapolis.

Well Hillary, there it is.

I will leave you with some suggestions for the next time you refer to Indianapolis. Try some of the more popular nicknames, like the Heart of America, the Circle City, Naptown, Indy or just about anything except Indianoplace. We are open to any original ideas.

Sincerely,

Offended Hoosiers

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Really Hillary- Indianoplace?

a letter to Hillary Clinton

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No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

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