We all know someone or have friends, and let’s admit it – we’ve been there before. The ones who drops off the planet when they get into a relationship and act as if we are physically sown to our significant other. More likely than not you are guilty of this too. It’s become a cultural norm and taboo all at the same time to rely on someone else. More often than not we get into a relationship and something inside of our brain or our heart says, “Alright this is it we live, breath, and sleep this relationship.” Why does it have to be this way? It shouldn’t be.

Think about everyone in your life and out of everyone, who is responsible for your happiness? The answer is you and only you. The phrase, “you have to learn how to love yourself before you can love someone else,” is almost as over used as any Marilyn Monroe quote hanging up in a college girls dorm room; but the meaning still holds strong. What happens when this person is not in your life anymore? (I get that’s a thought you’re not willing to give into but just think.) Who are you going to rely on when its 3AM and you can’t sleep due to life stressing you out? Do you think Blair Waldorf laid there and wished Chuck Bass was magically there to soothe her sadness? No she woke up put a headband and her plaid skirt on and kicked that day’s ass. We’ve grown up in society where we have been taught through examples, social media, and movies that it’s okay for us to solely rely on another human beings for happiness.

A person should be able to go get a meal by themselves or treat themselves to something because they worked for it or they want it. We shouldn’t expect it will be better if it was given to us by someone “we love”. That’s not how life works. The biggest crutch in life is waiting for someone to come hold your hand while you make a decision or looking like an idiot when you try to go get your oil changed and you’re doing it by yourself for the first time. Be that girl who travels somewhere new alone, goes to a concert because she wanted to or even treated herself to a nice date night because you know you’re amazing and deserve it. Do not wait for someone to come treat you to these things because you want some else to see your worth. Being independent also helps you find who you are and lets you embrace you self-worth even more. Without feeling obligated to listen to someone else tell you how they think you should be or act. You can choose that you’re going to look like bum one day and then Jennifer Lawrence the next day all for you and yourself only. How freeing is that?

Make sure the next time you hear Destiny’s Child singing, “All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me,” you can make Beyoncé proud and throw those hands.