Independence is a funny thing. It comes in all different situations. When I was younger, I could not wait to get my license so I would be able to drive myself around. Once we reach a certain age, we either go one way or another. We start to depend on others more or we learn to start to break out and do things by ourselves.
It happens slowly.
Maybe spending the day to yourself reading or thinking. Eventually it will develop into a regular habit.
Overtime, I have noticed that I have slowly become more independent and with that, more confident. The two factors go together. By not having the fear of doing something by yourself, you are able to go and do things that you may have been too timid to do alone.
This past year was my first year of college and I was placed in a new state with new people. You learn to go out of your comfort zone and talk to new people. Even when you meet new people and want to hang out, it does not always mean everyone is always available.
I remember one day all my friends were busy, so I just went into the city (a quick train ride away from my school) and spent the day getting fruit from a market and doing homework in a coffeeshop.
Two years ago, the thought of going into Boston by myself would just make me a little uncomfortable. But over time, I learned to accept the independence and it felt great. To just travel and have full control over when you want to leave or where you want to visit. It was an exciting feeling.
I know this is a small example, but it brought me to a realization. Society as a whole always makes it seem like you should do everything with another person or group. It seems weird to travel by yourself or leaving yourself time to isolate yourself to think and regroup.
This should change. It is a thrilling time to try and have a little time by yourself. I am not saying “isolate yourself forever and never hang out with people”. I am trying to say that sometimes it takes a lot to be able to see that movie by yourself or spend time away and just relax. It is freeing to have that control.
