Being in a long-term serious relationship was great—don’t get me wrong. But when it came to a sudden end, I was forced to become independent quicker than I thought, and it saved me.

Being in a relationship takes a lot of effort. You have to take time out of your busy schedule so you spend enough time with your significant other, you have to save enough money each month to do things together, and you’re happy to do it. Now, I don’t have to do that anymore, and it made me realize a lot of things.

First of all, I realized how much I liked to work. Weird right? But I love what I do, and I don’t mind that I’m working 40+ hours a week while being a full-time student, because it genuinely makes me happy. People can tell me that they know I was meant to do this type of work. That’s the best compliment anyone can give me because not all people are very dependent, but my career is something that I know I will have for a lifetime, especially being in healthcare.

I also realized that I needed to make myself happy before anyone could ever make me happy because you can’t depend on anyone to supply your happiness. If they are your main source of happiness, you may be too dependent on them and that’s scary. This is where I get selfish: My happiness is important to me, and no one can make me happier than me.

I have more time for myself. Time is a valuable thing, and now I have so much time to do things that I couldn’t before. I also have the extra money to do fun things. I recently got asked to volunteer at an emergency department. This is just adding to my career success, and I love it! I also love to be outdoors, the extra time gave me the opportunity to go on a day hiking trip to Devils Lake, somewhere I’ve never been. I can’t describe the feeling to you in the entirety that I felt it, but it was a relieving feeling. Simply just looking around at the beautiful landscape and the amazing friends that I got to go with it. It felt like a huge load of stress was just lifted off my shoulders, just by being there.

And the extra money lets me pamper myself with massages and manicures. What more fun could you have?

I also have more time to be with my friends. I never realized how much time I actually dedicated to my significant other, and how much time that took away from being with my friends. I missed out on a lot, and I’m really thankful that, when I was neglecting to make time for them, they were still there when I needed them. When the time comes and I’m ready to get into a new relationship, my friends will have the amount of time they deserve, and nothing less.

The way I talk to people is completely different than when I was with someone. I considered myself a loyal, compassionate girlfriend. I had plenty of guy friends, but I always made sure my significant other was comfortable with them as well: I’m not a flirt. Every guy I talk to, I don’t necessarily find attractive. I’m not looking for anyone, but I’m also not "holding back" on the type of people I talk to because the only person it matters to anymore is me. I’m not worried about hurting anyone else’s feelings, and I must say it’s a pretty damn good feeling.

Being independent saved me because the only person I need to worry about right now is myself. I can do things that I want—that I love—and I don’t need to worry about how other people feel about it. My time is mine, and so are the things I chose to give it to. I may not have chosen to become independent, (and I may not have been very happy about it) but I needed it. I may add someone to the equation eventually, but right now? It’s my time.